Never Negotiate With Terrorists...
I am not a breakfast in bed type of guy. It's uncomfortable. It doesn't make any sense to me. It never has. Why the hell would anyone want to eat a stack of flapjacks and a pound of bacon, while lying horizontal under the covers? It's bad enough I find remnants of Goldfish crackers under my pillow. I don't need maple syrup stuck to my sheets. It also makes the room smell and it gives me a headache. Oh and there's no place to put the Orange Juice either. Please don't bother. I don't carry a ton of cash on me. It's not my nature. I usually have less than $10 on my person at any given time. I'm also not allowed to use the ATM without my wife yelling at me. Maybe the two have something to do with each other. For whatever reason, please refrain from buying me any sort of money clip or wallet. I don't care if it has a silk screen of my favorite team's logo on it. Not interested. I also don't wear a suit to work. Ever. As a matter of fact, I hav...