Kick Her Or Kiss Her?
I hate loud chewers. I don't know how else to say it. There's nothing that irks me more. Whether it's the smacking sound of a mushy banana sticking to the roof of someones mouth or the rubbery pop of cooked fish, constantly clinging to a pair of back molars, I absolutely cringe at the thought. I can hardly sit down at the dinner table without putting on some background music. Don't even think of eating popcorn next to me in the movie theater unless you let those bastard kernels melt in your mouth or swallow them whole. You need to take a drink? Please use a straw and give me some notice so I can start humming. I immediately become consumed by the clatter. It's like thousands of tiny little audible needles raining down upon me, simultaneously piercing my eardrums until they explode. Holy shit. It just annoys the snot out of me. I'm sorry. I know this sounds messed up. I'm pretty sure my pet peeve comes as a result of years of eating meals in front of the tel...