Out-Numbered

People always ask me, "Why do you have so many disgusting pictures of food on your facebook page?" I always tell them, "I'm paying homage because I can't eat that shit anymore. It kills me." My food photos are like a candle burning in memory of my gluttonous past. I remember every delectable morsel like they were my children. About two years ago I joined Weight Watchers and lost 35 pounds. I made a promise to myself back then, that I'd try to stay healthy for my family. I wanted to be around to watch them grow up. Haven't gained a pound since. Before I had kids I was somehow able to consume food like this on quite a regular basis. Now that I'm older it's just not that easy anymore. Goes right to my hips. I hope to someday enjoy this breakfast of champions once again with my daughters. Maybe just once... If it doesn't kill me first. Oh and I almost forgot. The luscious treat pictured above is comprised of the following, kind of natural ...

This Out-Numbered is dedicated to my awesomely chill second kid. Happy Birthday! When my wife and I were first discussing the possibility of having a second child, one of the questions that kept coming up was… “Do you think we’ll love it as much as we love our first?” Hmmmm. Good question. Totally impossible to answer without sounding cold and heartless but a very good question. I honestly didn’t know the answer. But I always heard from my parents and grandparents that you love each child differently. Not more, just differently. Yeah right. What happens when one kid is smarter than the other? What happens when one kid is prettier? You always hear siblings say, “I’m the good one”. It’s inevitable. What if the new kid gets all messed up like Jan Brady? Or even worse, Macaulay Culkin in, “The Good Son”. You remember… In a quiet town... In a comfortable home... In a perfect body... Evil can be as close as someone you love. It didn’t seem fair. To make the decision even more difficult, b...