Out-Numbered

Men are simple creatures. We like steak and Doritos and tools. We don't like satin sheets or hairspray. We despise area rugs and/or tapestries and we absolutely loathe speed walking. We also like Football. We like to watch it uninterrupted on Sundays. And then this happens... Sunday afternoon 4:13pm. Two minutes before kickoff. Chargers VS Jaguars. Out-Numbered - All I ask is that you keep them upstairs until halftime. Wife - Fine. But I haven't had a moment to myself this whole weekend you know. Out-Numbered - I know. I love you. Wife - Whatever. Out-Numbered - Hey. Wife - Yes? Out-Numbered - Can you bring me some snacks? Wife - Go fuck yourself. Out-Numbered - Thanks Hon. She walks up the stairs. 3 Year Old - Daddy? Out-Numbered - Fuck me! Yes baby? 3 Year Old - Can you play supermarket with me? Out-Numbered - I'm sorry baby. Not right now. 3 Year Old - Why? Out-Numbered - Because Daddy is watching football. 3 Year Old - Can't you pause it? Out-Number...

On Saturday night, my old lady and I hit the town... Levittown that is. We met some friends at the Diner and had a quick bite to eat. The Diner is a very tricky place. It's like an island filled with the mythical Sirens and a bunch of fat people. The Sirens just sing their sweet melodies, calling you and whispering sweet Tuna Melt temptations, luring you with the waking dreams of Gyros and Mozzarella Cheese Fries with Gravy. Evil I tell you. I myself am a fan of the Triple Decker Turkey Club Sandwich. I even had a little WTF moment and partook in the Matzoh Ball Soup. Dee- lish ! Also, against my better judgement, I had a Corona to boot. No I don't need no stinking glass, thank you kind sir. The white trash meter was running high indeed. Anyway, you're probably thinking, why so fancy schmancy ? Wasn't it your anniversary a couple of blogs ago? Yes mine kinder (Yiddish for small children - Shout out to all the Bubbies in the house, say yeah!). Be patient. Let the stor...