Out-Numbered

1. Twenty little painted toenails. 2. Long fluttering eyelashes attached to four puppy dog eyes. 3. Two mischievous smiles. 4. Endless parades of kisses. 5. Dance recitals. 6. Holding hands crossing the street. 7. Snuggling on the couch. 8. Bedtime stories. 9. Uncontrollable giggles. 10. Tears of Joy. 11. Princess costumes. 12. Playing family. 13. Mounds of stuffed animals. 14. Pink (the color). 15. Smiley faces, Peace signs and Hearts. 16. Pictures on the refrigerator. 17. Helping with homework. 18. A renewed appreciation for cupcakes. 19. Freckled cheeks. 20. Swing sets 21. Are we there yet? 22. Scraped knees and elbows to kiss and make better. 23. Being needed. 24. Being Wanted. 25. Being Loved. 26. Fatherhood. If it weren't for my kids, I'd be celebrating useless, lazy, selfish, asshole person day. Today I'm counting my blessings.

Remember when you were little? What was your favorite toy? Was it Simon? A simple electronic game of repetition and memory. Was it Battleship? A guessing game that revolved around Naval strategy. How about Connect Four? Pretty sneaky Sis. Whether it was Light-Bright, Color Forms, Shrinky Dinks or Micronauts, they all hold a special place in our hearts. For whatever reason, they struck a chord. They piqued our interest and kept us coming back for more. Sometimes when I buy a game for my kids, I think back to those special toys and try to identify the qualities that made them so unique. Were they colorful? Were they interesting? Were they intellectually stimulating? I believe it's extremely important to pick toys that resonate with our children. They should add educational value, teach them to play fair, and either win gracefully or lose with dignity. And then there is this toy... It's hard to put into words exactly how I feel about this thing. But let me try. For starters, it...

a form of procedural memory that involves consolidating a specific motor task into memory through repetition. When a movement is repeated over time, a long-term muscle memory is created for that task; eventually allowing it to be performed without conscious effort. Whenever I see my Dad, he gives me a hug and a kiss but there's something about the way he does it that always makes me pause. Whenever I see my Mom, her eyes widen, as if she's seeing me for the first time. I'm always a bit standoffish. Receiving this type of affection as a grown man, can be an uncomfortable feeling. It feels awkward. I would always ask myself, "why do they still greet me as if I were a child?" Their hugs and kisses are more apropos for a toddler; a sweet, little meatball that laughs when you kiss its neck. I'm not a toddler. I have hair everywhere. I have bad knees and scars. My neck smells like a mixture of sweat and cologne. I don't giggle when you squeeze me. The tickle me ...

From the Out-Numbered family to your quaint, happy, little family and Hot Moms all over the universe (including sexy alien bitches). HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!