Out-Numbered

I just said goodbye to my dog. He didn't die thank God. That would have wrecked me. He just went to hang out with his grandma for the night. Those two are old souls. Probably making good on unfinished business from lives past. The thought of it makes me smile. Today I've had the day to myself which is rare. Much needed time to reflect and decompress. Time to reverse engineer the last three hundred and sixty five twenty fours. Life has been busy and slow and empty and full. It's been up and down and all of the above. It's been ad infinitum and whatever else describes the endless flow of days. They pile up and spill out all over the floor, in a crash, like a fumbled pitcher of sweet iced tea that slipped from the hands of a little kid trying to impress a living room full of adults, gathered around the dining room table, locked in a game of charades. I'm feeling a little bit vulnerable right now. My emotions have been waiting patiently. Waiting ...

For almost five years, I've been "writing" this blog. It is called Out-Numbered and it was aptly named. I am a man. I have a wife and two daughters. I live with them in a house. I am outnumbered. The reason for the brief history is because over the past few years the dynamic of my family has slowly changed. Balance. About three years ago we welcomed a special needs lizard into our home. He is paralyzed from the waist down. At the time, the vet said that the prognosis was not good. My daughter cried. Today he eats, he climbs and he shits on newspaper just like my two daughters. The only difference is that my daughters don't shit on newspaper. His name is Cookie Monster and he is a boy. I am almost positive he is a boy. It's hard to tell. He has some circle things where his dick is supposed to be. The interwebz says that means he's a boy. Granted, a boy with no dick but I'll take it! He has an incredible will to live and he has taught my ...

My daughters are so beautifully simple and yet complicated at the same time. The way they look through me. The way they walk from the house to the car. The way they brush their hair after a bath. Everything about them makes me wonder how on earth I could have had anything to do with any of their inherent goodness. Sometimes it makes me laugh out loud and sometimes it takes all of my will to hold back the tears. My wife and I made the decision to adopt a puppy a few weeks ago. It was a surprise to the kids. For obvious reasons, my only condition was that the puppy had to be a boy. The other day, my little one asked me where the puppy's penis was. I pointed at it. Little one: "That doesn't look like a penis." Me: "Well, that's what a doggy penis looks like." Little one: "It's hairy." Me: "Sure is." Little one: "Why is it so hairy?" Me: "Because dogs are hairy, so their penises are hairy." ...