Out-Numbered

Happy Birthday my brother. It's funny. I haven't really thought about it until now but your birthday is one of nine birthdays I have always remembered. Birthdays are like phone numbers. We don't need to remember phone numbers anymore. You plug em' into your contacts and you press a button when you need it. It's bullshit. To this day I remember exactly seven phone numbers. Five of them don't exist anymore and one of them is my mom's, which used to be mine. So I'm not sure that even counts. It's kind of a shame it doesn't work that way anymore. I think the love a person has for their friends and family can be measured in phone numbers and birthdays. I'm not taking about Facebook reminders and speed dial. I'm talking about knowing them by heart. If you knew someone's phone number by heart back then, it meant you needed  them. It meant you kept them close. It meant you talked with them. If you knew someone'...

Warning: Please do NOT read this post if you think your kids suck. Do NOT read on if you are a rotten parent that can't stand reading about other parents who are obviously far more skilled, loving and awesome than you are at being parents. Continue reading only if you can see the sheer perfection of your children literally dripping off of their angelic little bodies without being aided by anti depressants or other mood altering narcotics. I still love being a dad. I am also a fairly awesome dad. One of my awesome dad qualities is that I wear cool Rock Tees. Another awesome dad quality that I possess is that I am good at video games. Perhaps the most important and honorable, awesome dad quality that I exemplify is that I am fair. I am now about to drop a completely random act of fairness onto the page in front of you. I give to you the other side of "Things That Suck About Having Kids... Part One". So to be fair, I took to the virtual streets once again and asked YOU t...

“ At Outback, our attitude towards life is down-to-earth, laid-back, 'no worries'. Our attitude toward food is another story. It's a story about big, bold flavors, a story about quality, consistency and preparation. We take great pride in serving the freshest, highest-quality food possible. At Outback, it's all about quality — and all about the food. So let go of the worries of the day, and Go Outback .” Damn straight. That’s the Outback way. That’s why Outback is my favorite restaurant in the world. That’s why I drag my family to the Outback once a year. You see, I’m pretty much forbidden to eat there all year round. Why would I possibly be kept from a Mecca such as this against my will? Because my lovely wife thinks it’s a shit-hole, that’s why. But… because deep down she loves me more than almost anything except her furry Uggs, she allows me one free pass. Every year on my birthday we drag the whole family to the Outback so daddy can stuff his fat face with the follo...

I’d like to say to everyone who is reading, that I have truly missed you. I kind of bailed on the blog last week for a bunch of different reasons. One reason was that I was freaking exhausted. I always save my writing for Out-Numbered for Sunday evening when the kids are asleep. It’s a great way to wind down and put my thoughts together. It’s also fairly therapeutic most of the time. Last week I had a ton of shit on my mind and found that I was way to preoccupied to dedicate my pea brain to anything one track. Another reason was that I had arrived home late from a weekend excursion with my family and three other families at a resort in Pennsylvania. When I say families, I mean kids and all. That would be six kids and eight adults in one house. I probably shouldn’t get into the minute details of the trip. My wife and I have been friends with these people for longer than we’d all care to admit and I respect their privacy. There are really only two things from this trip that still resonat...