Out-Numbered

I am a bad parent. I have been lying on the couch, watching football all afternoon. My wife is out with my youngest daughter. I am home alone with my 7 year old. I haven't fed her lunch or even checked on her in quite some time. She knows where we hide the 100 calorie packs. This should suffice. I'm not overly worried but I am becoming a tad concerned. She's playing with her Nintendo DS . Playing is probably not the most accurate description. She's melded with it. I hear her grunting, like an old man digging a ditch. What's even more disconcerting is what follows. There is a pattern developing. Every so often, she shrieks and yells. " FUCK !" and then there is quiet. and then a whisper. " Sorry ". Who is she apologizing to? Is she sorry for using inappropriate language? Is she apologizing to her Nintendo DS ? Is she apologizing to me? I'd like to think it is the latter. She knows I don't allow that type of language in the house. But I am ...

I have a really good relationship with my 7 year old daughter. We have a lot in common. We both love music, we like to be in the spotlight and we are both extremely stubborn. I love being with her. Even when she is being "difficult", I have a tendency to give her the benefit of the doubt. We make each other laugh. I see myself in her. She's an old soul in a tiny little body. She's also my first born. There's something to be said about your first born child. There's a special bond. One of my favorite things in the world is tucking her in at night. I lay in bed with her and we talk. We talk about anything and everything from The Jonas Brothers to my 5 O'clock Shadow. The words aren't what's important. It's the energy between us. Sometimes when she's sleeping, I look at her and think about how little she used to be. I look at her hands, her feet and how she's turning into a young lady. I'm so proud of her. I made that. I had something...

It's 10:23pm on Wednesday night. The night before the last day of the year. 2009 seems to be ending the same way it started. I'm laying in bed, in my flannel, feety pajamas. I'm in pain. My abs are sore from doing P90X. It's not working. I feel uncomfortably overweight and I'm regretting the obscene amounts of BBQ I inhaled at supper time. I will probably take a pain killer in a few minutes but not before I'm at least half way through this post; For I know it will be a race against time. This is a race I always lose. I will be unconscious shortly after. Unconscious is a good thing when you can't straighten your body. I have the posture of a giant prawn. If I had to fight Estelle Getty in a cage match, I would lose miserably. I don't care if she's dead. It doesn't matter. I suck. At this time last year, I posted: New Years Resolutions Are Stupid . I'm not going to get into it but suffice it to say, I botched just about every one of them. Isn...

I promised myself that before the year came to a close, I would take pause and reflect on what has been a grueling but truly gratifying year for me personally. Like everyone else, my family has had to find ways to make do with a bit less this year. My business has successfully weathered what some have considered to be the perfect, economic storm. I am beyond thankful to all of the people that have surrounded me, both personally and professionally. I couldn't ask for a finer group of friends. I consider myself blessed. When I started this blog a little over a year ago, my intention was to digitally archive the experiences I have with my family. It was to be a personal journal; One that my daughters could look back on, long after I am gone. I couldn't have imagined what an important role it would play in my life. Having a place to spew my thoughts, however random, has been nothing less than liberating. This space has provided me with an avenue of self discovery and an opportunity...

Pop Culture / Celebrity Gossip website, MamaPop.com, asked me to join their amazing team of smart-ass writers. What do I know about Pop Culture? Um... The 80's Rocked and Natalie Portman is smoking hot? Anyway, the good news is that now you can get an extra dose of my bullshit, in addition to the crap I shovel over here. To make it easy for you, I've posted the link to my first column below. Just went live at 3p today! Here ya go... Dangerous Ball Tapping Practices Uncovered I'll be posting there, every Wednesday at 3pm EST. Please check it out. Do me a solid and leave me some comments over there. It'll make me look important. Rock On! Out-Numbered