My Little Girl Is Growing Up...

This is one of those posts that probably won't translate quite the way I intended it to. But I have to tell you that I couldn't help myself this time. I've always tried to write this blog with sincerity. I continually try to put my heart out there for everyone to see. I have also been very conscious of keeping the content of this blog to that of a more anecdotal tone. In other words, I don't like bragging about my kids or gushing over their specific achievements or milestones. I try not to post cutesy pictures of birthday parties, messy cupcake faces or first poop poops on the potty. Not that there's anything wrong with that at all. There are a ton of great parenting blogs that chronicle the lives of their kids and they are absolutely adorable. This blog has been more about my experiences as a dad and how I've dealt or not dealt with those experiences. I try to find an overarching connection with parents. I often say some of the stuff that everyone is thinking about but doesn't want to say out loud. Most of the time I try to do this with humor and sometimes it happens to come across in a more serious way. This time I have to make an exception. Today I am the proudest I've ever been as a father. Today my little angel showed me how she is changing from a little girl into a young lady. Today my eyes welled up with tears of joy for the first time in as long as I can remember. I can only assume that there are just a few precious moments in a parent's lifetime that one can honestly look back on and say, "You know what? I guess I did something right all those years ago. Look at my baby now." So I have to apologize for what I'm about to share with you because it goes against the very fundamental philosophy of this blog. I can't help it but my baby just made me so darn proud. I've been on cloud 9 all day.

You see, last night my six and half year old princess threw up in the toilet. That's right. She woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach virus and she puked in the bowl all by herself. She didn't cry. She didn't make a mess. She didn't wake her younger sister. Gosh darn it, she even held her hair back all by herself. That my friends is a mature and selfless act. I didn't even have to get out of bed. Of course I felt terrible and was very concerned but my wife went to check on her so I figured I'd keep the bed warm. I had also taken Tylenol PM so I was extra lazy. Hearing her hurl from the bathroom down the hall brought back memories of college. I dated girls back then that couldn't of found the shitter if they had a GPS attached to their head. **

Most kids don't think about regurgital etiquette in the heat of the moment. Usually it's a barftacular mess. Puke on the sheets, puke on the floor, puke on the pajamas. There have been nights when my wife and I spent hours cleaning up chunks of meat sauce and pedialyte only to find ourselves gagging in tandem until the sun came up. I'm not sure what made the difference this time. I'm not sure what triggered that little inner voice in her head to say, "I'm gonna be a little debutante tonight and heave with dignity and grace. I'm gonna make my pappa proud." You know what? I couldn't care less why it happened. You don't question miracles. You take life's little gifts as they are handed to you and you savor them like gobstoppers or White Castle cheeseburgers. This weekend I saw a transformation in my baby girl and it made me feel sentimental. It gave me pause to appreciate that there are certain things you can't necessarily teach your children but somehow they are resourceful enough to learn it themselves. Tonight my daughter blew chunks in the toilet all by herself and I consider myself the luckiest son of a bitch on the face of the earth.

Postscript - My younger daughter inevitably caught the stomach virus and puked all over her self and her crib at 3am the next morning. Suffice it to say my moment was short but it was a moment nonetheless...

**The GPS or Global Positioning System was not available for civilian use until 1995. This was three years after I graduated college. It would have been impossible for any girl I dated at the time (as referenced in this post) to have had access to a GPS , let alone have one attached to her head. This reference was used with creative license for the sole purpose of adding humor to said Out-Numbered anecdote.


Comments

  1. Congratulations! The real test, however, will come when YOU get the same bug and have to spend the day crawling between the toilet bowl and your bed. If your kid then does not tug at your sleeve every five minutes, asking for daddy, consider her grown up. :o)

    (don't know anything about 6-yr-old girls, only have experience of 4-yr-old boy who as of today has not yet done either - barf in the toilet nor leave me alone)

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  2. This is my greateest parenting fear. Poop, I can deal with. Snot? No problem. But I hate barf, barfing and anything that has to do with human regurgitation. (Cat barf, I can, and do deal with very often.) I have been lucky these past 2 years--my son has never barfed (not counting baby spit-up). I am so dreading that part of parenting. Of course now by mentioning it, I'm sure I've doomed myself.

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  3. Just before I threw up in my mouth a little, I was cracking up! Damnit, you have every right to be so proud!!

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  4. well not to compare children stori3es because we are all proud for one reason or another, but my son had the flu 3 years ago, 11 years olf at the time, and made an adult decision. Do I puke on the floor or poop (it was both coming out at the same time) His adult decision was I will puke on floor and poop in bowl.Needless to say still feeling sick he continued to clean up his own mess until i stepped in and did it for him. He said he didnt want daddy puking also (knows I have a weak stomach) So congrats on ur experience today Jason it does make us feel proud to know, they can make such decisions in the heat of the moment.

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  5. This one felt very very close to home. Not because I have kids. Nor did I recently witness an act of maturity from a 6 year old. But rather, because I too have (selflessly) thrown up in your toilet (twice). I like to think that it is the legacy I have left for your children. I'm such a good influence.

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  6. What a wonderful story and you have every right to feel so proud. I wonder if she will grow into a neat teenager as a result of this decision!

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  7. Yeah, a good test of the maturity level of a child. My children both vomit very well into toilet bowls...all on their own.

    I'm a proud mommy.

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  8. Great Job to the big girl...She truly is growing up. It sure beats cleaning up afterwards!! We've ALL been there, right!

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  9. I wish I could tell you it was age, but it's not. You may have just been blessed with a smart one. I have a 14 year old that can't hit the toilet If he is laying next to it, but I have a four year old that runs for the toilet at the slightest gag. Maybe, it's a girl thing?

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  10. They grow up so fast. :D Thanks for not posting a photo!

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  11. Classy move with the GPS note--no one likes uncredited product references.

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  12. very funny Jay, but you'll know she's really grown up when she yells at you to come in, it's really important and you go in and your darling says, I HAVE A LUMP, WHAT IS IT, WHAT IS IT???? And low and behold it's her freakin BREAST! That my friend, is when you run for the hills as I am trying to do now!

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  13. i would like to knight SDM into grown-up-ness. I also threw up last night in the toilet, after having gone 45min on the subway with no accidents!

    *it wasn't from a virus but it still counts

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  14. Yeah . . . my 9 year old managed to barf all over his bed, sheets, pillow, comforter, carpet, walls, floor . . . but not get one teeny tiny little drop on himself. His father's son.

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  15. I'm sure Malwarebytes could fix it, take with a reboot,ans a defrag and call me in the morning. Love GHS

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  16. yep, she's all ready for college now lol. Hilarious yet something to be proud of.

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  17. It's great watching kids try to get the hang of the whole independence thing. Even funnier when they try to be empathetic and considerate. My three-year-old prayed that Mommy would grow a penis the other night. Let's hope that God's sense of humor isn't as sadistic as mine...

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  18. Too funny and spot on! My husband and are waiting for the day when all 3 kids can do that so we can recarpet the house!

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  19. Nice post to read about a dad's real-life experience. As she grows up and as you as dad also move up in age, you will enjoy their age-appropriate actions and reactions as well as concerns about their immature decisions. Really nice to read such simple but true feeligng of a dad.

    Added you to my Friends list.

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  20. I think your little girl is all ready for college now.

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  21. Congratulations on raising such a conscientious little girl! May I brag for a moment though? My 4 year old daughter threw up on the floor awhile back in the middle of the night and CLEANED IT UP by herself. If she had just been a little quieter with the clean up I never would have even know! :)

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  22. That is freaking amazing. Just last Christmas the 25 year old with whom I share a bed puked all over it and me in the middle of the night, nearly ended our relationship right there. Your daughter is clearly gifted, congratulations.

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  23. I'm still laughing! I write this through tears of recognition because I too know the miracle of your precious daughter finding the bowl! Kudos for a great read!

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  24. congrats... you are definitely doing something good for your children. great blog!!

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  25. You are being featured on Five Star Friday!
    http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/04/five-star-friday-edition-48.html

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  26. What can i say Jason... Brilliant and poignant. Good stuff my friend.

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  27. Oh, how I look forward to the day my children blow chunks on their own. That's monumental. Where can I send the floral bouquet?

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  28. I have an eight year old with autism who throws up all the time. Well, frequently. It's distasteful, to say the least. Even the dog won't come in the room after Charlie's been barfing in the bucket.

    He's seeing a Ped. Gastroenterologist soon, hopefully it will stop.

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  29. After reading your blog...I officially no longer want to write mine. Thanks a lot for making me feel like a failure.

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