Life Imitates Blog...

Do you ever feel like you're being Punk'd? Like Ashton Kutcher is following you around, smirking, waiting and ready to pounce? Well, life has a way of imitating art. Or in my case, blog...

In case you were wondering, that's my 6-year-old daughter and me in that picture. It's not an out of shape, hairy, white trash, down on his luck, ex-Chippendales dancer. I am casually enjoying my Father's Day, breakfast in bed. It consists of a bowl of soggy Rice Chex, a banana, a strawberry Pop Tart and a half-cup of warm water. Delicious! Kind of like a prison breakfast in the comfort of your own bed. The food was the same, except my daughter didn't serve me wearing a hair net.

My attire is bed casual, consisting of a brand, spanking new, teal colored, wool tie. The tie lies perfectly between my man-nipples and falls to just above my navel.

All in all, the perfect beginning to a perfect Father's Day. Courtesy of the amazing ladies in my life, that continually leave me feeling Out-Numbered...

Comments

  1. RonJune 22, 2009 at 9:19 AM

    That pic is hilarious. Breakfast of champions. You did better than me. Wife asks me what I want for Father's Day breakfast? Me: Waffles. Wife: I don't know how to make waffles... you make 'em and I'll clean the toilet. Me:??? Wife: Kids, go clean the toilet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. WIDNEY WOMANJune 22, 2009 at 9:38 AM

    If I chop off your head, your upper body looks like my husband's before he gained weight... And minus the tattoo. Mind if I keep returning to reminisce? Wait! I had a real comment. Ummm... Seems like your wife reads your blog and has a sense of humor. When is your anniversary or birthday? Maybe you should to another sarcastic blog, only this time, make it about some amazing gift you want and she'll get it for you...

    ReplyDelete
  3. ronnibunny72June 22, 2009 at 10:16 AM

    you all know the breakfast in bed was NOT my idea! and if you take note of my comment on "never negotiate with terrorisis" the tie was bought at the father's day boutique prior to the blog being written!

    honey i hope you had a great father's day! you really deserve it! you deserve a medal for wearing that tie to work today...

    YUV!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJune 22, 2009 at 10:42 AM

    Ha! Hee hee hee ho ho ho ha ha ha ha!

    That's a classic. I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. E.PayneJune 22, 2009 at 10:43 AM

    Hilarious!! Yeah my day was just about as I pegged it on my blog. My kids went ape#$%* for the day and my childless sister-in-law felt the need to give me parenting advice. The only great difference was that my wife cooked me and the other fathers in the family a great dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lynn KellanJune 22, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    Jason, the top of your tie looks furry - Whazzup with that? Oh, wait a second, is that facial hair? Phew. I thought your girls got you a fuzzy tie.

    Looks like a great start to a Happy Father's Day.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ChrisJune 22, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    Any day that starts with a Pop Tart can't be all bad. What a funny family you have . . . as long as they were trying to be funny.

    Otherwise, I'm sorry dude. I'm truly sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  8. SurprisedMomJune 22, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    I had to catch my breath from laughing so hard. It seems like you are not the only one in the family with a sense of humor! I hope you had a wonderful Father's Day!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Barbara EhrentreuJune 22, 2009 at 12:19 PM

    Do you see the power of the written word? It's frightening!!! Seeing you in that picture I laughed. Your daughter's expression is also hysterical. I'm sure she thought this was the perfect breakfast for you.:)

    Seriously, what did you expect? Next time try not to put down what you don't want where your wife can see it.:) I'd love to meet her. She has a great sense of humor. Do you think she put your daughter up to this? Or did she just stand by while your daughter thought she was giving you the best breakfast ever? Too funny!!!

    Once more, please contact me so we can send you the free book! My blog is all about my thoughts about my father who is not with us anymore.

    http://barbaraehrentreu.blogspot.com/2009/06/fathers-day-thoughts.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. Trainer ShaunaJune 22, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    Lol!! Awesome, that's a pic to treasure!

    ReplyDelete
  11. jayslilsisJune 22, 2009 at 12:30 PM

    what a champ! seeing that live and in the flesh was way better than that pic.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ToddJune 22, 2009 at 1:37 PM

    Since you dont wear ties, my birthday was 2 weeks ago... you can re-gift. i wont mind. i still dress corporately.

    ReplyDelete
  13. mamadearestJune 22, 2009 at 2:03 PM

    You would not do well in prison, pretty boy. I love your girls for doing that. Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Out-NumberedJune 22, 2009 at 2:09 PM

    Just to be clear. My girls had NO idea about my previous entry, obviously. I almost peed myself when the Wool Tie came out. My wife was probably stewing all week in anticipation. I kind of thought I'd get the breakfast in bed but the Tie was so classic. She made me BBQ in it yesterday and wear it to work today. So not only was it ugly and itchy but it also smelled like skirt steak. Yum...

    ReplyDelete
  15. BellaDaddyJune 22, 2009 at 3:22 PM

    OK...snide comments aside...brave man, posting a pic like that ROFLMAO!

    Glad you had a great fathers day too!

    ReplyDelete
  16. MVDJune 22, 2009 at 3:39 PM

    Perhaps after reading your Father's Day narrative as a bastardized combo of prison cafeteria and school lunchroom, your wife will have your daughters buy you a hair net for 2010. Which, of course, you will dutifully wear to work.

    ReplyDelete
  17. RoshniJune 22, 2009 at 3:43 PM

    uh oh! No IHOP then?!

    ReplyDelete
  18. TheresaJune 22, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    You got the Elvis lip-curl down. Wahoo! Anyway, despite the overall photo op uhm...you look like you have gals in your life that love ya. Hope you had a great day.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Tyler - Building CamelotJune 22, 2009 at 5:17 PM

    Did they at least heat up the pop-tart for you? I mean, come on...at least prisons have a microwave.

    ReplyDelete
  20. JaysDadJune 22, 2009 at 8:08 PM

    I understand "Captain America" is being resurrected! Your tatoo will be in style. Breakfast in bed. The lst place I'd want to eat.

    ReplyDelete
  21. DamitaJune 22, 2009 at 9:00 PM

    lol , did your daughter make breakfast for you?

    ReplyDelete
  22. EricJune 22, 2009 at 9:31 PM

    hahaha
    hope you had a good one!
    Atleast your family made you breakfast- i had to go to starbucks and pick up my own breakfast!
    LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Melissa P.June 22, 2009 at 11:10 PM

    There are no words to how funny this is!!! Your expressions, the "fantastic" meal, the TIE!!!!!! It's too funny. You absolutely rock for wearing it all day and to work! the daughters are very lucky to have you.

    ReplyDelete
  24. NYCity MamaJune 23, 2009 at 12:19 PM

    lol!! Shit. breakfast in bed. Totally missed that one. lol! Picture had me cracking UP! Hope you had a good one bro.

    ReplyDelete
  25. marymacJune 23, 2009 at 9:03 PM

    LOVE.the.Pic!
    thanks for swinging by Pajamas and Coffee today and confessing your addiction.... cuzzzz, um, people being addicted to our blogs are what keep us zany bloggers writing! yes?
    Happy Belated Fathers Day- your post reminded me of a newspaper column I did when my now-high schooler was 3 called "The Frozen Bagel."
    Rock on, daddyblogger.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Mi ThoughtsJune 23, 2009 at 10:08 PM

    Great pic. Glad I found your blog. Is that a Captain America shield tattoo?

    Paul
    http://mithoughtsnow.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  27. Mommy with a PenisJune 24, 2009 at 11:12 AM

    You are such a dad! Still I think you scored with the tie. On Fathers Day I was up at seven getting the house ready for my daughter's birthday party. Thirty kids. THIRTY. So we had to pick up the dog poop and dead baby opossums. (More on that in my last entry.) Yes, the scratchy tie looks nice.

    ReplyDelete
  28. whatnowdadJune 24, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    Sweet tie....I hope you kept that outfit for the whole day. Only other dads could truly appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
  29. globalwarmingJune 26, 2009 at 12:39 PM

    good site friend,sorry i dont speak english!

    ReplyDelete
  30. myonlyphotoJune 26, 2009 at 11:35 PM

    ...you are just truly outnumbered, lol. Happy father's day! Anna :)

    ReplyDelete

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