Dad Sucks! We Want Pancakes...

I think I'm a pretty decent Dad. I'm not a total asshole. I kiss my kids and tell them that I love them. I hate to admit it but that's about as far as it goes on some days. I can be a lazy son of a bitch. I hate giving my kids baths. I'm usually so tired from working late during the week, that I walk around in a coma on the weekends. I'm a terrible communicator. Always have been. I keep all my stress bottled up deep inside of me. It used to give me diarrhea. Now it's moved to my back. I can be a pretty shitty husband from time to time as well. I snap at my wife when I'm preoccupied with business and I spend way too much time on this stupid blog. I've often thought to myself that I'm a much better Dad and Husband in my blog than in real life. That's a problem. My kids and my wife deserve much better than that.

This is why I try to do one thing a week consistently to give back to my family. It's the one thing that I'm really good at and it makes them all very happy.

I make Pancakes.

I know this sounds completely ludicrous and anti climactic but it's what I do. It might just be the most important thing in my life right now. It is quite possibly the glue that holds this family together.

"Times are tough, have a pancake."
"Camp sucked this week? Let me put some blueberries in those pancakes."
"What? Your friend told you that you're a jerk and you scraped your knee? How about some chocolate chip pancakes this weekend?"
"Hey kiddo. Everyone Shits their Pull-Ups every now and then. Have a short stack with some sprinkles on top."

Pancakes fix everything, if only for a moment and around our house, every moment counts.

Sometimes I suck as a Dad and a Husband but I am the best fucking Pancake maker in the universe and that is no joke. Ask my wife and kids. Every Sunday, I get to wipe the slate clean and give this Dad and Husband thing another go round. Try it sometime. Your family will thank you with sticky smiles...

If you don't already have your own recipe, today is your lucky day. I feel like paying it forward.

Out-Numbered Pancakes

Ingredients:
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 2 cap fulls of Vanilla Extract
  • 3 tablespoons of white sugar
  • 1 tablespoon of cinnamon
  • 1 1/4 cups whole milk
  • 1 egg
  • 3 tablespoons butter, melted
  • 1 table spoon of Baby Benedryl (Optional for really annoying kids)
Directions
  1. In a large bowl, add together the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and sugar. Then pour in the milk, egg, vanilla extract and melted butter; mix until silky smooth.
  2. Spray pan with cooking spray and heat over medium high heat. Pour the batter onto the frying pan, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Cook until you see the pancake start to bubble and then flip. Brown to liking on both sides and serve em' while they're hot.
  3. Cooks approximately 12 kick ass pancakes.
  4. Collect your smiles in bunches.
  5. Take a bow and thank your lucky stars that your wife and kids still love your sorry ass.



Thank goodness for the Pancakes. Otherwise they would be Out-Numbered...

Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 27, 2009 at 12:21 AM

    tell ruby and sophie that their favorite cousins say hi!
    -brielle & bara

    ReplyDelete
  2. RonJuly 27, 2009 at 2:23 AM

    "I've often thought to myself that I'm a much better Dad and Husband in my blog than in real life." ...Oh ya, that's me to a "T"

    And I also use pancakes to pay my debt to society... beats prison.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ChrisJuly 27, 2009 at 2:27 AM

    Dude, what the hell is that on the older daughter's plate, a fuckin' SALMON? Those better be some damn good pancakes, if you're gonna slap a fish on the plate as a garnish.

    Great post, you've once again earned Maugeritaville Post of the Week honors.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Barbara EhrentreuJuly 27, 2009 at 2:27 AM

    I saw your broadcast while on my dashboard so I came here immediately. Mention pancakes and I'm there. One question, when you add the blueberries do you cook them into the pancakes? Or spoon it over them? By the way your girls are so adorable I wanted to hug them. I can't remember when my kids were that age.:)

    Do you ever make too many and freeze them? I used to do that, because my daughter wanted pancakes during the week. I'd freeze them with parchment or wax paper between the slices and wrap them in plastic wrap and put them in an airtight plastic ziplock bag. Then you take out one or two at a time and pop them in the toaster oven or microwave for a minute or two. I think they do better in the toaster oven on toast setting - light. If you use microwave wrap them in paper to keep in moisture.

    ReplyDelete
  5. DanJuly 27, 2009 at 2:55 AM

    Thanks for this, my kids were very taken with american pancakes on our recent visit and I've been meaning to make some. I might even see if I can develop it to be my 'thing' too.

    Our pancakes are a lot flatter than yours and we tend to hae them with lemon and sugar. Very nice mind you, but nice to have variety.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJuly 27, 2009 at 5:08 AM

    Hey, my Dad used to make pancakes too, now I know why. Off to pick up the phone and tell him that he is a great Dad as I'm sure you are too. I hate to tell you this but no amount of pancakes would put a smile on an unhappy kid - Your kids sure are smiling.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lynn KellanJuly 27, 2009 at 6:26 AM

    Nothin' says lovin' like something from the oven...or, in this case, the frying pan!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Pink Haired MommaJuly 27, 2009 at 8:03 AM

    My hubbs-to-be makes us omletes on sundays from deep inside his own coma. Eac hweek it is the greatest meal ever. Keep it up dad. Your kids will treasure the pancakes memories and tastes forever!

    ReplyDelete
  9. PJ MullenJuly 27, 2009 at 9:01 AM

    Pancakes are the great equalizer and a very important weapon in the fatherhood arsenal.

    ReplyDelete
  10. JasonJuly 27, 2009 at 10:20 AM

    I don't do pancakes, but does breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day count??

    ReplyDelete
  11. ronnibunny72July 27, 2009 at 10:45 AM

    they were very yummy...

    ReplyDelete
  12. jayslilsisJuly 27, 2009 at 10:50 AM

    way to carry on the tradition. i remember and still love dads eggs and pancakes breakfasts... although he dropped off the pancakes and just did the eggs for a long time.

    ReplyDelete
  13. marymacJuly 27, 2009 at 10:57 AM

    Pancakes rock for those days when you shit your PullUps- and substitute Bluberry Stoli for Benadryl in mom and dad's pancakes and you got yourself breakfast. ;)

    you rock, too.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJuly 27, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    Growing up my dad worked in retail so it was late nights and Saturdays....but on Sundays it was kite flying or ice skating (depending on the season) at Newbridge Park. Sometimes it was an Arrows indoor soccer game. My dad worked a lot, but the time I did get was full of memories. So be it pancakes or a hot chocolate break when ice skating....it's awesome!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. JaysDadJuly 27, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    Son, you forgot to mention where you got the pancakes from! Your Dad, "Breakfast Man"! It started in the Poconos more than 30 years ago when I was responsible for breakfast for the 7 of us and then it was off(you and your brother) to ogle the 2 women of the house sunbathing topless below the kitchen window. I'm happy to see the tradition being carried on. Maybe when your lilsis learns to turn the burners on she'll do the same. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  16. mamadearestJuly 27, 2009 at 1:01 PM

    Great. Now my fat ass wants pancakes.

    ReplyDelete
  17. SurprisedMomJuly 27, 2009 at 4:20 PM

    Pancakes! So that's the secret! Too bad I'm a shitty cook. Oh well, they don't look too hard to make.
    I always sound like a better mom and wife on my blog than in real life. But my heart's in the right place and I bet your's is, too.
    Your daughters are very cute and look very happy. I think you're not only a good cook, but a good dad, too.

    ReplyDelete
  18. johnJuly 27, 2009 at 5:41 PM

    or you could do Denny's for the mornings you just can't wake up enough to make pancakes yourself. They don't care what you look like!

    ReplyDelete
  19. BellaDaddyJuly 27, 2009 at 7:50 PM

    Thanks for this. I too make pancakes, and french toast sometimes, on Sundays. The smiles last around here for about 5 mins after...when Daddy then has to frikkin clean up the mess too...*sigh*

    Kudos!

    ReplyDelete
  20. KarinaJuly 27, 2009 at 8:04 PM

    this sounds yummy! I love your blog btw

    ReplyDelete
  21. TheresaJuly 27, 2009 at 11:14 PM

    Okay, first of all, those pictures of your girls are priceless.

    Yum, those pancakes look really good. I'm gonna have to see if Chris will make some for me. I'm not lazy, it's just that your recipe includes more than one ingredient and that usually doesn't turn out so well for me.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ray HartjenJuly 28, 2009 at 1:15 AM

    Oh yes, a great recipe. Will have to try it out on my kids, because, while you're not a total asshole, I've been over the half way line a time or two lately.

    My secret recipe for you: If you're ever in a pinch and using a mix, gently stir in club soda (you'll find it at your bar!) instead of regular tap water. Result is fluffy pancakes that you can't get anywhere else.

    ReplyDelete
  23. E. PetermanJuly 28, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    Pancakes are the path to world peace. This recipe looks great, and I'm gonna try it. I briefly tried a "healthy" whole wheat version, and there was mutiny. Thanks for sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
  24. How to Party with an InfantJuly 29, 2009 at 1:13 AM

    My husband can't even cook pre-cooked items. I drink because of it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. WennyJuly 29, 2009 at 5:50 AM

    Wow! Great recipe except for that last ingredient (dun get it) ... hehehe :)

    Well whatever said and done, good or bad, you're still good old Dad and the old man of the house!

    Btw, just wanted to share an award with you for always make the blogosphere a loony place to be. Hope you'll check it out at http://insidemybubbletoday.blogspot.com/2009/07/today-inside-my-bubble_29.html

    ReplyDelete
  26. Groovy Baby BlogJuly 29, 2009 at 5:42 PM

    Cute post!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Mr. ManJuly 30, 2009 at 12:09 AM

    My thing is omelettes. That's how I show my daddy super powers.

    ReplyDelete
  28. UnknownJuly 30, 2009 at 8:54 AM

    Thanks for helping me to prepare pan cakes Its a simple recipe and a real treat to have it. You can show ur powers to ur dad.. Nice dish indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  29. George RomakaJuly 30, 2009 at 9:15 AM

    I'm the same way with meatballs. Funny thing is that I don't have a recipe. I do it differently every time, they just always come out perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Out-NumberedJuly 30, 2009 at 1:06 PM

    Just an FYI... There is no salmon garnish on the plate. It's syrup. Although Salmon would add some nice fishy accents...

    ReplyDelete
  31. Ve!!July 31, 2009 at 1:18 PM

    This statement
    "Hey kiddo. Everyone Shits their Pull-Ups every now and then. Have a short stack with some sprinkles on top."

    ALMOST made me shit my pull-up.

    And could your daughters be any more gorgeouser? I think not.

    ReplyDelete
  32. MomAugust 3, 2009 at 12:29 AM

    Sooooooooooooo delicious! Pancakes, article, picture, etc.
    I hope you're not really being that hard on yourself.

    Mom

    ReplyDelete
  33. Toddler Crafts SusanAugust 3, 2009 at 9:42 AM

    Hi,

    Your receipe seems to be good i tried it and it worked to be but must be careful in handling it with the kids.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Karl SAugust 5, 2009 at 2:42 PM

    Dood! That's awesome. I'm responsible for breakfast every day but as I grow older and the boys grow more demanding, menu choices are limited. Saturday though, is always about pancakes. No matter what. And in big batches so I have leftovers for Sunday and during the week. That way, when they get moody during breakfast on weekdays, I can pull out the pancakes. Now I know it'll be OK to ask, "Honey, syrup or Benadryl."

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousOctober 23, 2009 at 12:03 AM

    I hate to say you kinda do sound like a total asshole. My husband makes pancakes to and he doesn't get it that every time he makes them I don't eat them, because I don't like them, and I have told him that but he just keeps making and offering them. Hmmm......

    ReplyDelete

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