My Fortress Of Solitude...

I am not a Superhero. I am a Father and a Husband. I am a "Fusband". I have no mutant powers to speak of. I am mere mortal. I do have a weakness. Every Fusband does. This weakness is my Kryptonite. I am defenseless against its evil. I am crippled by its potent energy. It will tear me to pieces if I do not protect myself. In order to shield my vulnerable body from this raw, unyielding, puissance; I have built a Fortress of Solitude.

Its walls are as sturdy as solid concrete; as thick as the ancient pyramids. The door from which my enemies can gain access, could withstand the pounding of a battering ram, heaved by one hundred knights. It is even equipped with an advanced control system, that allows me to filter out high pitched, ear piercing, transmission signals, that can do irreparable damage to my brain. I have hidden compartments that house supplies, essential to my survival. I even have a self sufficient captains chair, that is built for comfort and functionality.

Nothing can touch me in my Fortress of Solitude.

No harm will be done unto me.

I am safe.

I am sound.

If only for a moment...
















I will not be Out-Numbered by any Nemesis in my Fortress of Solitude...


Fatherhood Friday at Dad Blogs

Comments

  1. Marvel GooseJuly 3, 2009 at 12:31 AM

    I dunno. My dog gets all bothered and wants to scratch at the door. Being a dog, she feels a need to sniff at or roll in what ever it is master is making on the other side of that door.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anjanette YoungJuly 3, 2009 at 12:57 AM

    LOL. Good Luck on that Solitude. Let me know if it works...

    ReplyDelete
  3. BellaDaddyJuly 3, 2009 at 1:02 AM

    Only a moment? I find that VERY difficult to believe. Happy 4th ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJuly 3, 2009 at 1:26 AM

    LOL!

    But I'm still intrigued with the term, "fusband."

    I'm thinking it should be "fatband!"

    Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  5. the grammar policeJuly 3, 2009 at 3:19 AM

    "I am defenseless against it's evil. I am crippled by it's potent energy."

    I am annoyed by its two typos.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJuly 3, 2009 at 3:36 AM

    That's all well and good but couldn't you at least put the lid down?? ;0)

    ReplyDelete
  7. ChrisJuly 3, 2009 at 3:44 AM

    Ah yes, the "chamber of focus". We all have our moments of quiet repose, and what better place to have them?

    ReplyDelete
  8. EricJuly 3, 2009 at 5:04 AM

    Awesome man! Awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  9. SmallprintJuly 3, 2009 at 5:43 AM

    Are you quite sure that they will not "flush" you out?

    Sorry

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lauren (Postpartum Dads Project)July 3, 2009 at 6:57 AM

    lovin' the term "fusband"

    Lemme know how that Fortress of Solitude thing works out for you. I'm still trying to figure out how to pee in peace five years later.

    ReplyDelete
  11. UnknownJuly 3, 2009 at 9:19 AM

    Didn't work for me when my kids were kids; hope it works for you as a Fortress of Solitude is absolutely to remain sane while raising said kids.

    LOVE the post; made me laugh out loud.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Out-NumberedJuly 3, 2009 at 10:05 AM

    Thank you Grammar Police. Good call. I am a moron. I hope you are happy now. To the rest of you, Happy 4th of July! Keep it real. Keep it safe. Keep it American!

    ReplyDelete
  13. ronnibunny72July 3, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    you sure are a super fusband who really gets no privacy even in his fortress of solitude. but then again u r outnumbered!

    YUV!

    ReplyDelete
  14. MomZombieJuly 3, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    There are some mothers out there who have the same fortress of solitude. I'm still working on an escape hatch, a secret passage way and a moat.

    ReplyDelete
  15. MomJuly 3, 2009 at 10:39 AM

    Sounds like you had a rough week!
    The word "Fusband" ought to be added to the dictionary...it's a great word...and so is your article.
    Hope you have an easier weekend.

    Love, Mom

    ReplyDelete
  16. TheresaJuly 3, 2009 at 10:49 AM

    My fortress was my bathroom too, BUT only when I was taking a bath. My kids would bother me even when I was..well you know. But if they knew mommy wasn't fully dressed, they would magically not come through the door. Fun post!

    ReplyDelete
  17. My Bottle's Up!July 3, 2009 at 10:54 AM

    "it's the quiet place," says hub, "see, he gets it."

    ReplyDelete
  18. JonnyTam13July 3, 2009 at 11:10 AM

    Fusband makes me think of F***ing Husband. Just saying.

    ReplyDelete
  19. PJ MullenJuly 3, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    All you need now is a flat screen and a fridge and your fortress will be complete. Dare to dream! Happy 4th!

    ReplyDelete
  20. RonJuly 3, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    I like how 'Frusband' sounds similar to 'frustrated'

    Bring magazines

    ReplyDelete
  21. SurprisedMomJuly 3, 2009 at 12:36 PM

    Fusband! Loving the word! In fact, I LMAO at your entire post.
    I can't believe you really have an impenetrable fortress of solitude. It never worked for me since I have two girls. They won't walk in on their dad, though.
    I didn't see a magazine rack,bookshelf or TV in there. I'm surprised.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Waltsense.comJuly 3, 2009 at 3:05 PM

    Nice - from the get go i thought you were going toilet and you didn't disappoint. One of the biggest reasons i need to move is i live in a bathroom crib. My fortress gets interrupted to many times.

    ReplyDelete
  23. ciaraJuly 3, 2009 at 4:50 PM

    i thought only women escaped to the bathroom. lol :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Stiletto MomJuly 3, 2009 at 5:53 PM

    My husband enjoys his fortress for at least :30 minutes every morning. I don't get it but it makes him happy so we all juts leave him alone!

    ReplyDelete
  25. EdenSkyJuly 3, 2009 at 7:04 PM

    put in a mini fridge and a tv and you'd be all set!

    ReplyDelete
  26. WeaselMommaJuly 4, 2009 at 8:38 AM

    Wow, You really need to trick out your man cave a little.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Barbara EhrentreuJuly 4, 2009 at 11:09 PM

    LOL! Great post as usual. Where are your books and magazines? From the time my kids were little I retreated to that area so I could be alone. It's the only place even now where I can't be bothered.:) I've learned to use my time in this place to read all the books I want.:) Oh the adventures I've had while enjoying all the comforts and complete abandonment of this sanctuary!! You've got to trick it out a little more!

    Happy 4th of July! Come read my blog to see what I did today! You won't believe it!

    http://barbaraehrentreu.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  28. JaysDadJuly 6, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    Excellent! Very real!

    ReplyDelete
  29. MelissaJuly 7, 2009 at 8:47 AM

    Our son frequently breaches the fortress of solitude. There is no solitude for the fusband or the mife in our family.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Otter ThomasJuly 7, 2009 at 4:21 PM

    I'm glad their is a word for me that is not generally frowned upon by society or classified as "dirty". I too am proudly a fusband.

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousJuly 7, 2009 at 7:27 PM

    I love it. Living with 3 women it's teh only true refuge I get aside from the cigar bar down the street.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Order MedsJuly 8, 2009 at 2:44 PM

    Your lucky they back when you are in your fortress. My dad didn't get that much when I was younger. There were times when we'd even knock on the door and yell at him to hurry because we'll be late for some school activity and he needs to drive us there. Or we'd ask for extra allowance - he usually gives in quickly so he can have his moment of peace.

    ReplyDelete

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