Murder Of A Different Color...

Overzealous movie announcer:

In a world... Where evil knows no boundaries. Where blood flows as freely as water in a stream. There stands a house, alone on a hill, hidden in the darkness. Behind the darkness, lurks an unsuspecting father... His world is about to change.























Father - "Oh my God! Where are the girls? HONEY! WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?"

Mother - "They were in the bathroom a minute ago."

Father - "Something's wrong. Something terrible has happened."

Mother - "What? OH MY GOD!"

Father - "GIRLS!"

Mother - "MY BABIES!"

Panic stricken

Father - "It's gonna be OK. We're gonna be OK. Call 911! I'll check the basement."

Mother - "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Running frantically through the house, searching every room. He finally finds the girls. Nothing could have prepared a father for a sight this hideous. No parent should ever have to see his baby like this...

Father - "What the?"


















6 1/2 Year Old Daughter - "What?"

2 1/2 Year Old Daughter - "What?"

Father - "Baby, the next time you decide to paint your sister's fingers and toes, please let us know first. OK?"

6 1/2 Year Old Daughter - "OK."

2 1/2 Year Old Daughter - "Daddy, look at my pretty toes!"

Father - "I see baby. They're very pretty..."


















Out-Numbered...

Comments

  1. The Guy's PerspectiveAugust 10, 2009 at 8:01 AM

    Jason,
    I've been there. Funny.....and not so funny. :)

    Enjoyed it. Thanks.
    Bring Back Pluto
    "ONE of THE GUYS"
    Hope you'll visit sometime. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ChristineAugust 10, 2009 at 8:13 AM

    She did a better job than me. I find if I keep the polish on the toes themselves, I'm ready for the beach.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My Bottle's Up!August 10, 2009 at 8:20 AM

    can she do my nails? i'm overdue for a mani/pedi and dig the color.

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownAugust 10, 2009 at 8:27 AM

    OMG, what a scare but sooooo funny! Been there, for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownAugust 10, 2009 at 9:08 AM

    Hey Jason, I've just started reading this post, then the one before it, and then another one, and I couldn't stop. Awesome blog, I'm officially addicted :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Emma @Baby-LogAugust 10, 2009 at 9:11 AM

    Sorry, clicked post comment and realized I wanted to add this: the one where your lil' girl and you argue about her age is my so-far-favorite :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. familycalamityAugust 10, 2009 at 9:50 AM

    It's posts like these that make me happy I am not out numbered, nor will I ever be... what's my wife cooking that smells amazing?

    ReplyDelete
  8. KerriAugust 10, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    Classic... That would so happen in my house, too!

    ReplyDelete
  9. PaulAugust 10, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    The first clue should have been the quiet. They are always too quiet when up to skullduggery.

    ReplyDelete
  10. George RomakaAugust 10, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    Our 2 year old Caelyn will actually shoulder-bash the safety gate keeping her in the living room to get to mommy's stash of nail polish. We had the same reaction first time she did it. Red everywhere. Oh noes!

    ReplyDelete
  11. PollyannaAugust 10, 2009 at 2:20 PM

    At least it was on surfaces that can come clean easily. Not so much at our house. Nothing takes nail polish off dark maple wood cabinets without leaving a mark of some sort :(

    ReplyDelete
  12. MartieAugust 10, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    Reminds me of the time my, then 4yr old son, who has severed ADHD, took a fuschia colored sharpie pen and drew alllll over his naked body. Face, neck, up and down the arms, the chest, waist, crack, genitals (didn't look like he was gentle about it either) and in between every toe. I took pictures to show his as a new Father one day.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Just Add WalterAugust 10, 2009 at 6:03 PM

    oh my gosh... I was on the edge of my seat!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. SurprisedMomAugust 10, 2009 at 10:42 PM

    I know the thoughts that were going through my head. Poor you and your wife. I can only imagine what was going through yours.
    Thanks for letting us know the outcome was only colorful. Kids, our adrenaline would never pump hard if it wasn't for them.

    ReplyDelete
  15. EdenSkyAugust 11, 2009 at 12:55 AM

    Considerate of them to use the bathroom, here it was the couch.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lynn KellanAugust 11, 2009 at 7:47 AM

    Phew. That speckled bathroom photo had me in a panic as well.

    ReplyDelete
  17. WIDNEY WOMANAugust 11, 2009 at 9:02 AM

    Please don't let my MIL see these photos. She laughs at my polish jobs as they don't look much better.

    ReplyDelete
  18. jayslilsisAugust 11, 2009 at 3:11 PM

    wow, idk what i'd do if i were a parent and saw that. First thought i had was "what kind of damage could make blood look like that" - idk, maybe i've watched too much Dexter. Thankfully it ended with laughs and not tears.

    ReplyDelete
  19. ChrisAugust 12, 2009 at 1:37 AM

    Jeez. The Mary Kay Murders. Coming soon to a theater near you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Grumpy, M.D.August 12, 2009 at 8:20 AM

    Yeah, my kids tried that OVER CARPET, then tried to cut it out with a scissor hoping we wouldn't notice.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Mommy of ManyAugust 12, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    Hee Hee! After 9 kiddos I looked at that picture and immediately said, "nail polish"! Been there!

    ReplyDelete
  22. MomAugust 12, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    Oh my gosh! I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Otter ThomasAugust 12, 2009 at 3:37 PM

    Haven't been around in a while. Sorry about that. I still love ya. The "blood" on the toilet is realyy creeping me out. You are introducing me to more reasons that having a girl terrifies me. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  24. StaciAugust 12, 2009 at 7:43 PM

    Hey, she did a better job with the polish than some adults I know. It really did look like blood though.

    ReplyDelete
  25. PseudoAugust 12, 2009 at 10:28 PM

    Sweet.

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousAugust 13, 2009 at 10:30 AM

    Jason that was bloody great! Love the tone of the piece.

    ReplyDelete
  27. King of New York HacksAugust 13, 2009 at 6:54 PM

    Brilliant, quite agree with the above comment, the tone was great !! First time here..not the last.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Steely DadAugust 13, 2009 at 9:39 PM

    Dude, did the girls get into your makeup kit again? I don't know but I've got to say it looks like they did a pretty darn good job.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Barbara EhrentreuAugust 13, 2009 at 10:23 PM

    Must have been fun getting the nail polish off the toilet.:) Your girls are adorable even if I didn't see their faces. She didn't do such a bad job.:) You can get the fake nail polish that wipes off easily and doesn't stain. Then they can paint themselves any time they want.:) Oh the joys of being a parent.:)

    Come read my blog to see how I spent last night. Oy!!!!

    http://barbaraehrentreu.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  30. TheresaAugust 18, 2009 at 12:03 AM

    Whew! Man, I remember the days when those thoughts would run through my mind. That was a totally cute post. And considering, the girls did a pretty good job on their nails.

    ReplyDelete

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