SONY - Unsanctioned Product Review...
By now I'm sure you have all heard the buzz about Daddy Bloggers getting their turn in the spotlight. It's been all over the web, featured in the The New York Times, as well as, other Global publications.
SONY has started a program called DigiDad by which, various well known and influential Daddy Bloggers are being given a wide range of digital products to review on their web sites. SONY claims that the Daddy Bloggers will not be paid and will have to return the products when they are finished.
SONY hopes that by letting the Dads use their gadgets on their own terms, they will be able to provide fun and honest feedback for their readers about the products.
Great idea SONY!
SONY did not ask me to review any of their products. Go figure.
Fuck SONY.
Here is my unsanctioned SONY product review.
SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO
When my Mother first purchased this semi-digital slice of goodness, she probably had no inclination at the time, what an amazing return on her investment it would provide. When I started Junior High School, it was pretty obvious that I was fast becoming a lazy piece of shit with almost zero sense of responsibility. My Mother, being the wiser, thought that it was time I take on some sort of accountability for my own schedule. With this in mind, she gifted me The SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO.
In my younger years, I certainly did not appreciate the importance and the rarity of fine craftsmanship. Why the fuck would I give a shit anyway? I wasn't paying for it. Looking back on the purchase now, I can honestly say without hesitation that the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO, is the greatest single semi-digital product I have ever owned.
This workhorse is 25 years old and it's never once, so much as skipped a tick. Who would have thought that those master Taiwanese craftsmen would touch my life in such a profound way?
Aesthetically, it's nothing more than simple and nothing less than understated; The perfect blend of genuine plastic and faux wood finish. Perhaps its most outstanding quality is the unbelievable durability of the body itself. I'm pretty sure it's been punched, kicked and thrown, as well as, vomited on, peed on and spat at. There's a very good possibility that it has touched my pecker at some point (I got it when I was in Junior High School).
It has never failed! Not once. Quite frankly, it has been the most consistent thing in my life.
For all of the above reasons, I urge you to purchase the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO immediately. I'm pretty sure you will be able to find it at a local Garage Sale or even a reputable weekend Flea Market. If you still can't find it, of course Ebay is always an option.
I'm not sure why but I haven't bought a single SONY product since. Technically, I didn't even purchase the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO (Thanks Mom!). Either way the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO has my full Dad Blogger endorsement... Unsanctioned of course.
SONY, no need to thank me for the free PR. I might not be "influential" enough for your DigiDad program but I tell it like it is and the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO kicks motherfucking alarm clock ass! Nice Work.
*** ACTUAL PRODUCT TESTIMONY ***
Thanks to you, I have never been Out-Numbered in the AM...
SONY has started a program called DigiDad by which, various well known and influential Daddy Bloggers are being given a wide range of digital products to review on their web sites. SONY claims that the Daddy Bloggers will not be paid and will have to return the products when they are finished.
SONY hopes that by letting the Dads use their gadgets on their own terms, they will be able to provide fun and honest feedback for their readers about the products.
Great idea SONY!
SONY did not ask me to review any of their products. Go figure.
Fuck SONY.
Here is my unsanctioned SONY product review.
SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO
When my Mother first purchased this semi-digital slice of goodness, she probably had no inclination at the time, what an amazing return on her investment it would provide. When I started Junior High School, it was pretty obvious that I was fast becoming a lazy piece of shit with almost zero sense of responsibility. My Mother, being the wiser, thought that it was time I take on some sort of accountability for my own schedule. With this in mind, she gifted me The SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO.
In my younger years, I certainly did not appreciate the importance and the rarity of fine craftsmanship. Why the fuck would I give a shit anyway? I wasn't paying for it. Looking back on the purchase now, I can honestly say without hesitation that the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO, is the greatest single semi-digital product I have ever owned.
This workhorse is 25 years old and it's never once, so much as skipped a tick. Who would have thought that those master Taiwanese craftsmen would touch my life in such a profound way?
Aesthetically, it's nothing more than simple and nothing less than understated; The perfect blend of genuine plastic and faux wood finish. Perhaps its most outstanding quality is the unbelievable durability of the body itself. I'm pretty sure it's been punched, kicked and thrown, as well as, vomited on, peed on and spat at. There's a very good possibility that it has touched my pecker at some point (I got it when I was in Junior High School).
It has never failed! Not once. Quite frankly, it has been the most consistent thing in my life.
For all of the above reasons, I urge you to purchase the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO immediately. I'm pretty sure you will be able to find it at a local Garage Sale or even a reputable weekend Flea Market. If you still can't find it, of course Ebay is always an option.
I'm not sure why but I haven't bought a single SONY product since. Technically, I didn't even purchase the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO (Thanks Mom!). Either way the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO has my full Dad Blogger endorsement... Unsanctioned of course.
SONY, no need to thank me for the free PR. I might not be "influential" enough for your DigiDad program but I tell it like it is and the SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO kicks motherfucking alarm clock ass! Nice Work.
*** ACTUAL PRODUCT TESTIMONY ***
Thanks to you, I have never been Out-Numbered in the AM...
Funny! I had a digital alarm clock for almost 30 years before it kicked. It might have been a Sony.
ReplyDeleteAt least you don't have to send it back.
I have one of the updated Sony alarm gems that make it so you can plug and unplug, and it never needs to be reset. Sometimes I just rip the chord out of the wall to try and catch it off guard, but it always flickers back on to the correct time anytime I plug it back in. Sony didn't ask me to be influential either. I would have said this if they had: "Fuck you, pay me."
ReplyDeleteSony letting dudes borrow their toys for a few weeks isn't a turn in the spotlight. I think it's going to be when you get your own sitcom.
Not the least bit surprised that your 25 year old Sony is still working perfectly because today, they don't make stuff to last. And 'they' refers to all electronic makers, not only Sony!
ReplyDeleteLove that you mentioned it no less than 6 times in your unsanctioned review!
at what point do you take a swig of the vodka on your night table? before or after you set your SONY DREAM MACHINE AM/FM DIGITAL CLOCK RADIO?
ReplyDeleteI had an old Sony walkman that was supposed to be he compact version for years. About the size of a cassette box. You could actually hear the motor in it running if you were standing next to me. That thing probably still works. I finally upgraded out of shame.
ReplyDeleteSo, Sony sucks ass, right? I mean, am I getting the gist of it all?
ReplyDeletePS Jack on the nightstand. Uber cool. Review *that* next, mmmkay?
Crying, laughing right now. Great endorsement. I think you have a future in commercials...no doubt !
ReplyDeleteUmmmm, did your alarm clock just SQUEAK you awake?. . .Maybe my speakers are broken, but that did NOT sound like a 'BUZZ.'
ReplyDeleteI think I had that same clock in black back in the day. I'm assuming you use the bottle of Jack to hit the snooze.
ReplyDeleteWow, Jayslilsis, I picked up on the Jack but not the Vodka. Keen eyes, unlike your Papa. As far as SONY, Bose Wave Radio has it beat by miles by sound quality alone. Sell it on ebay and buy the BOSE.
ReplyDeleteGod damn yer a funny fucker!
ReplyDeleteYou're freakin' hilarious. I never get asked to review shit either.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!!! you slay me. the only products i will ever review will consist of beer and wine... and i will only get paid in beer or wine.
ReplyDeletethe 10:02 to 10:03 was the longest fucking minute ever.
don't give in to the man.
do give in to the vodka.
Not sure whether my comment went through or not. If so, apologies for the duplicate.
ReplyDeleteWhat I said:
"Quite frankly, it has been the most consistent thing in my life."
Hilarious. Your sense of humor is magical. Can I have it? Pretty please?
I could be your stunt double, audio and video! In what way would your dick have touched that thing? By accident or by way of some kinky act while alone with that frickin hot pink Care Bear?! Well done.
ReplyDeletenice camera work by the way...would have liked to see a zoom in during the setting of the alarm demo. either way, that videographer knows what "she's" doing.
ReplyDeleteLMAO...Fuck Sony...LMAO....Great post and I do have to find me one of these. I've spent who knows how much money on alarm clocks that take a crap soon after even the high prices ones that my surround sound system can probably hook up to.
ReplyDeleteMan Oh Man, I have missed being a part of all this. You continue to crack me up, and brighten our days...Kudos!
ReplyDeleteI peed myself a little bit watching your video...and pubic hair on your chin is looking better and better every day.
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced. I'm running out to a junk store nearby and getting one today.
ReplyDeleteVery good endorsement for the Sony people. I too, still enjoy my Panasonic Toot-a-Loop radio. If you've never owned one of these, I highly suggest you buy one...also on Ebay. Kudos on the commercial. Very believable.
ReplyDeleteI bet that Sony is kicking themselves in the ass for not going to you!
ReplyDeleteI seriously was LMAO. Not the pretend LMAO that you just say because you are typing in a comments box, but a real LMAO multiple times while reading and watching. Also, if you ever sale your clock in a garage sale, you should put a disclaimer on it as to where it has been. Or not and just laugh your way through the garage sale. -Jason
ReplyDeleteCan't believe Sony weren't prepared for the PR they were wishing to generate, and you would have had to return their products. Their marketing budget is HUGE. Do they think bloggers are mugs?!! Great review by the way!!
ReplyDeleteI dig the review. It sounds like that thing is being held together by various bodily fluids.
ReplyDeleteGenius video. I thought it was hilarious. I treat my alarm clock like you and my snooze button fell off about 5 years ago. I have to find the small pencil erasar sized sensor that used to reside under a 6" long bar. I can do it in my sleep.
ReplyDeleteHahaha..lol..Thanks your mom for that alarm clock. Now you've grown as a responsible person. Isn't it?
ReplyDeletewhat i find very troubling is that both you and your wife have the same alarm clocks since junior high school
ReplyDelete