What Would OZZY Do?

Driving in the car with my two daughters. My wife is at the Salon, again. We are on a mission. French Toast and Bacon at the Diner.

I have Black Sabbath playing in the CD player. I love Black Sabbath but it is obvious that my daughters do not share this passion with their Father.

Out-Numbered (Singing in Ozzy Falsetto)- "Nobody will ever let you know. When you ask the reasons why"

3 Yr Old - "You're the best singer in the whole world Daddy."

Out-Numbered - "Thank you sweetheart." (Continue singing) "They just tell you that you're on your own. Fill your head all full of lies..."

7 Yr Old - "No he's not. He's the worst singer in the whole world."

Out-Numbered - "That's not nice baby." (Singing louder) "Where can you run to.
What more can you do. No more tomorrow. Life is killing you."

3 Yr Old - "No. He's the best singer!"

7 Yr Old - "No! He's the worst singer and the person singing on the radio is even worse."

Out-Numbered - "Now stop that! Ozzy is the best singer of all-time and I'm a very good singer too."

(Making the radio louder and singing louder.)

Out-Numbered - "Dreams turn to nightmares. Heaven turns to hell. Burned out confusion. Nothing more to tell."

7 Yr Old - "He's terrible. He sounds like a girl and you can't even understand what he's saying."

Out-Numbered - "Let me ask you a question. Does he sound like any other singer you've ever heard?"

7 Yr Old - "No. He's annoying. Like you."

Out-Numbered - "That's my point."

7 Yr Old - "What? That you're annoying?"

Out-Numbered - "No, Dufus. That Ozzy is totally different than anybody else and that's why he's the greatest singer ever."

(Making the radio even louder and singing even louder. Trying to be annoying.)

Out-Numbered - "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath. Nothing more to do."

3 Yr Old - "I like OZBY, Daddy."

7 Yr Old - "It's OZZY dummy."

(Screaming over the music)

3 Yr Old - "I'm not a dummy. You're a dummy!"

7 Yr Old - "YOU ARE!"

3 Yr Old - "YOU ARE!!!"

Out-Numbered - (Singing) "Living just for dying. Dying just for you. Yeah!"

7 Yr Old - "I HATE YOU!"

3 Yr Old - "I HATE YOU!"

Out-Numbered - "I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER RIGHT NOW!!! Just as soon as this song is over..."

(Turning it up one more notch...)

7 Yr Old & 3 Yr Old - (Screaming inaudibly behind a wall of Black Sabbath.)

I bet you Ozzy never felt Out-Numbered. He would have bit their little heads off...

Comments

  1. Rob MonroeNovember 16, 2009 at 7:49 AM

    I hope you don't end up with a chance meeting - while I'm sure it would be funny to see Ozzy bite their heads of, it's pretty permanent!

    I can't wait to have these arguments with my kid...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brian MillerNovember 16, 2009 at 8:28 AM

    lol. keep wailing...

    this sounds amazingly like my boys...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nick Van LearNovember 16, 2009 at 8:33 AM

    very funny, wouldn't expect a 3 year old to love Ozzy so much or a 7 year old to feel so strongly against him.

    I found some great deals over at www.budgetsavingmom.com, check it out!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Formerly known as FrauNovember 16, 2009 at 8:47 AM

    My husband and I were listening and singing to the best of the 80's rock online and my 15 year old daughter was so annoyed.I wanted to say it's pay back betch for blaring Lady Gaga every morning!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnotherLindaNovember 16, 2009 at 11:32 AM

    LOL. One point for the parents!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Plastic MancunianNovember 16, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    I hope you turned the volume down for just one little bit of the song (though if it was on the radio I guess you wouldn't have to).

    I've had similar incidents with my two lads in their youth, trying to convince them that rock music is the way to go.

    Sadly, although they quite like it, their passion for Ozzy is nothing more than thinking he's "that funny bloke off the Osbournes".

    The youth of today (sigh)

    :0)

    Cheers

    PM

    ReplyDelete
  7. MelissaNovember 16, 2009 at 1:08 PM

    I never really watched the reality show, but I'd say he seemed pretty Outnumbered himself.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The pale observerNovember 16, 2009 at 5:00 PM

    You kid yourself about Ozzy - Sharon probably didn't let him play loud music in the car at all... We all know who wears the pants in THAT household!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ChrisNovember 16, 2009 at 7:34 PM

    Reminds me of the time I got yelled at for my five year old son's rousing performance of KISS's "Lick it Up".

    ReplyDelete
  10. My Bottle's Up!November 16, 2009 at 8:39 PM

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! SING THE SHIT OUT OF THAT JASON!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. WIDNEY WOMANNovember 16, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    Love it!! "...bit their little heads off." Love it!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Mrs. SmithNovember 16, 2009 at 9:24 PM

    Hilarious!!!!! I do the same thing to my 10 year old when she annoys me. But for us it's New Kids on The Block and I tend to "chair" dance as I drive. I also roll down the windows and lock them so she can't roll them back up. Good times...

    ReplyDelete
  13. MomNovember 16, 2009 at 10:24 PM

    Oh Jason, my belly hurts now from that laughing...and I'm still drying the tears from my eyes.
    The dynamics of the three of you during this ride must have been really something.

    ReplyDelete
  14. MartieNovember 16, 2009 at 10:28 PM

    I outsing my kids in the car all the time. Sometimes it's Fleetwood Mac...Sometimes it's One Republic...and sometimes it's The Fratelli's. I just pretend that they are back up singers. It's all good.

    ReplyDelete
  15. MakyaNovember 17, 2009 at 5:42 AM

    How loud does your car stereo go? Sounds like you turned it all the way up to eleven.

    ReplyDelete
  16. marymacNovember 17, 2009 at 6:35 AM

    Calling your kid a Dufus just made me fall in love with you even more. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. My Bottle's Up!November 17, 2009 at 9:50 PM

    question: what does the prince of darkness think while sitting in the audience of dancing with the stars week after week?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Maria @BOREDmommyNovember 17, 2009 at 10:31 PM

    I'm with the 7 year old on this one. I also agree that he should totally change his name to OZBY - OZBY OSBOURNE - it just works.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Eggs McManusNovember 18, 2009 at 1:24 AM

    I think poor Ozzy would just tremble and mumble something.

    ReplyDelete
  20. ronnibunny72November 18, 2009 at 6:33 AM

    that situation seems just right for our family! YUV!

    ReplyDelete
  21. toywithmeNovember 18, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    Ohhh....just wait til they're teenagers! At least you can over rule them right now.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Otter ThomasNovember 18, 2009 at 3:20 PM

    I have to say I love the image I get of you blasing Black Sabbath as your girls scream at each other. Good job. I like Ozzy too.

    ReplyDelete
  23. StacieNovember 18, 2009 at 9:58 PM

    So true! I love Ozzy. My kids feel the same about Alice in Chains. I think 14 year old secretly likes them tho.

    ReplyDelete
  24. bingo womanNovember 19, 2009 at 11:54 AM

    Wow! Some bonding moments with your kids, ei? But I wouldn't want them singing songs like that at their age..not yet.

    ReplyDelete

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