She Drops F Bombs...
As parents, we often struggle to understand our kids. We are always seeking that elusive connection. We want to know what they are thinking. We want to feel what they are feeling. Most of all, we want our kids to know that we get it; that they can talk to us.
But it’s hard.
They are just kids.
These things take time.
Through time, we gain experience.
With experience, comes wisdom.
But remember…
We are all cut from the same cloth. Most of the time, you won’t need to look for a “connection” with your kids. The connection, almost always finds you…
Sunday evening after dinner…
Out-Numbered – “Let’s go buddy. Bring your plate into the kitchen.”
7 Yr Old – “After my show.”
Out-Numbered – “Dude. Let’s go. I’d like to get this kitchen cleaned up, so I can relax.”
7 Yr Old – “When my show is over!”
Out-Numbered – “If you don’t get you butt off of that couch, right now, there’s not gonna be anymore show to watch.”
7 Yr Old – “It’s not my yob.”
Out-Numbered – “Excuse me?”
7 Yr Old – “IT’S NOT MY YOB!”
Out-Numbered – “You’re not even doing the accent.”
7 Yr Old – “What?”
Out-Numbered – “The accent. What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense, unless you do the accent.”
7 Yr Old – “Leave me alone.”
My wife is snickering at me.
Wife – “You’re doing great.”
Out-Numbered – “Shut up.”
Out-Numbered – “You have until the count of three to get in here.”
7 Yr Old – “ONE MINUTE!”
Out-Numbered – “One…”
7 Yr Old – “DAD! I SAID ONE MINUTE!”
Out-Numbered – “TWO…”
7 Yr Old – “Ugh. Fuck!”
My wife and I look at each other.
Out-Numbered – “What did you just say?”
7 Yr Old – “FUCK!”
Looking at my wife for help.
Out-Numbered – “Can you take this one?”
Wife – “Nope.”
Out-Numbered – “OK.”
Check please…
There you have it. We finally connected. They grow up so fast.
But it’s hard.
They are just kids.
These things take time.
Through time, we gain experience.
With experience, comes wisdom.
But remember…
We are all cut from the same cloth. Most of the time, you won’t need to look for a “connection” with your kids. The connection, almost always finds you…
Sunday evening after dinner…
Out-Numbered – “Let’s go buddy. Bring your plate into the kitchen.”
7 Yr Old – “After my show.”
Out-Numbered – “Dude. Let’s go. I’d like to get this kitchen cleaned up, so I can relax.”
7 Yr Old – “When my show is over!”
Out-Numbered – “If you don’t get you butt off of that couch, right now, there’s not gonna be anymore show to watch.”
7 Yr Old – “It’s not my yob.”
Out-Numbered – “Excuse me?”
7 Yr Old – “IT’S NOT MY YOB!”
Out-Numbered – “You’re not even doing the accent.”
7 Yr Old – “What?”
Out-Numbered – “The accent. What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense, unless you do the accent.”
7 Yr Old – “Leave me alone.”
My wife is snickering at me.
Wife – “You’re doing great.”
Out-Numbered – “Shut up.”
Out-Numbered – “You have until the count of three to get in here.”
7 Yr Old – “ONE MINUTE!”
Out-Numbered – “One…”
7 Yr Old – “DAD! I SAID ONE MINUTE!”
Out-Numbered – “TWO…”
7 Yr Old – “Ugh. Fuck!”
My wife and I look at each other.
Out-Numbered – “What did you just say?”
7 Yr Old – “FUCK!”
Looking at my wife for help.
Out-Numbered – “Can you take this one?”
Wife – “Nope.”
Out-Numbered – “OK.”
Check please…
There you have it. We finally connected. They grow up so fast.
Why am I always Out-Numbered by fucking dishes?
When I was growing up my parents didn't care if we cursed. I was shocked to find out my friends didn't share the same luxary. More shocked to find their parents didn't apprciate my word choices. Fucking dishes.
ReplyDeleteSo funny. Glad my kid isn't the only one to use a blue phrase or two. Things like this make toddler tantrums seem quaint.
ReplyDeleteYour own fault dude. Could you not have waited for ONE FUCKING MINUTE?
ReplyDeleteI fucking love this. L.O.V.E.
ReplyDeletesimple solution: DVR
ReplyDeletesurprised it took this long...fuckin A!
ReplyDeleteLove how she repeated it when you asked her what she said... priceless... lol
ReplyDelete*giggle* Sounds a lot like conversations between me and my husband. . . I wonder where she learned it?
ReplyDeleteIf only your wife had said "fuck no" when you asked for her help...
ReplyDeleteI already got son of a bitch from my daughter and she's two and a half.
ReplyDeletewow.
ReplyDeleteI think he was 5 when he came home from school and told me some kid was bothering him at the playground, and kept cutting in front of him on the slide. I asked him what happened. He said he went up to the kid after it happened twice and said... and for this he comes over to me to whisper in my ear... "stop being such a fucking little bitch". And the kid stopped cutting in front of him.
ReplyDeleteI was proud and mortified at the same time.
that's kinda fucked up
ReplyDeleteHa. Once I got reprimanded for saying "blow job" at a friend's house. A friend who's parents regularly dropped (and allowed others to drop) the f-bomb. But I was 22.
ReplyDeleteMy parents never cared about bad language. The only bad language was hurtful one, but if people were hurt by f-words or any other words, well, that was their problem. It takes some adjusting when you grow up and realize some words are not said in some situations, but it also makes you grow up with one less hang-up.
ReplyDeleteAs long as I'm here, I wrote a short post about this blog. Hope you like it.
jesus christ (as my 3 YO is SO fond of saying these days) that's funny!
ReplyDeleteyeah - i have a 9 YO too - both boys to my one girl. . .so I hear ya.
Hillary
Yeah, my 7 year old dropped a heavy book on her foot the other day and promptly shouted "SHIT! Sonofabitch that hurt". I couldn't even get mad, she'd just finished hearing me say it an hour before hand. Sigh.
ReplyDelete=)
ReplyDeleteOn my daughter's birthday this past January, she saw her mother playing with one of her toys and she said, "Mommy, what the F are you doing to my toy?" (she just turned 3). My wife, the F-bomb queen, looked horrified as if our daughter learned the word from a cloud somewhere and I looked back at her the way someone does when they want to throw a rock through a window.
ReplyDeleteImitation is the greatest form of flattery.
ReplyDeletei overheard my 8yo talking to my wife.
ReplyDelete8yo "fuck it"
wife "excuse me?"
8yo "fuck it"
me "8yo, what r u talking about?"
8yo "sam on icarly. sam fuck it."
me "honey, sam on icarly? her last name is pucket."
8yo "no. no. i'm almost positive. it's fuck it. fuck it with an 'f.'"
great post! jco
WOW my daughter says something slightly different...
ReplyDelete3 1/2 year old Daughter: DAD now if you don't do what I say I am going to smack your ASS(as she is pointing her finger and looking serious) HA
Yes, We have to watch what we say around our kids...
i fail to see the problem here... 1) she didn't try to disguise it. when you asked her what she said, SHE FUCKIN TOLD YOU. and 2) she used it in the correct context.
ReplyDeleteSHE'S FUCKIN BRILLIANT!!!! and apparently learned it all from her father.
wow...so the question is what did you do next? Stand firm! We haven't had that issue yet as the boys are younger but definately realizing that we have to watch what we say already!
ReplyDeleteYou're outnumbered by the ****ing dishes because kids always ****ing eat!
ReplyDeleteTough break on the F-Bomb man, I look forward to a follow-up post telling us what other words have been discovered.
After someone cut me off on the highway, I leaned on the horn and promptly forgot about it....my then 5 year old son said, "you forgot to call him an asshole." He was right. I did.
ReplyDeleteFunny!
ReplyDeleteI can certainly relate to your opening paragraph.
You win some and you lose some. Apparently I didn't succeed in gaining your trust in me so that you could come and talk to me when you needed to.
But I believe you're on the right track. You've been able to build a foundation with your children which will bring you much continued joy in the years to come.
Just continue to keep trying!
i do have a potty mouth sometimes. oops!
ReplyDeleteYUV!
I think you handled it pretty well! Much better than I would have. I would have probably died of a coronary or thrown an F-bomb right back!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thewannabewahm.com
This is a great blog you have here. I have a blog myself which provides inspiration and guidance to people all around the world. I'd like to exchange links with you so we can spread some traffic around. We both deserve it.
ReplyDeleteJason
TheWISDOMWALL.com
To my wonderful children, Jason & Ronni, you have created your own Monster. Everything comes back to you. You just have to remember why!
ReplyDeleteFucking hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThe way my husband and I curse, I'm pretty sure any kid we have is going to be cursing as soon as they come out of the womb. And props to 7yo for knowing how to drop an F-bomb correctly. If you're going to curse, do it right.
I remember getting my mouth washed out with soap for cursing (and it wasn't the F word).
ReplyDeleteWhen I got older my mother let me wash my own mouth out with soap. I pretended to do it, but just soaped up my tongue.