AMBER ALERT!!!
Anyone who has read this blog can surely sympathize by now; Raising two daughters isn't always easy. There's a lot of, "I hate you!" and "I wish you were never born!" These types of words are thrown around quite frequently and with reckless abandon.
My wife grew up as an only child, as did her Mother before her. The fighting affects her. She doesn't understand how or why sisters could talk to each other in such a way.
I have a younger brother and a younger sister. It's easy for me to relate to the dynamic of my two daughters. I've been there. It's certainly a love / hate thing. The pendulum swings fast and hard in both directions. Sometimes that pendulum is more like a wrecking ball. If you're not careful, it will take your head off.
But then there are times when the love takes your breath away. It's a love that can't be taught. It's in their DNA.
Sisters...
Tuesday Morning 7am. I step into the shower...
7 year old - Daddy? I'm all dressed!
Out-Numbered - Awesome. Now go wake up your sister.
7 year old - She never wakes up. She's lazy.
Out-Numbered - Tell her if she lets you get her dressed, we'll go to McDonald's for dinner.
7 year old - Tonight?
Out-Numbered - Yes.
7 year old - Cool!
She runs out of the bathroom to wake her little sister...
7 year old - DADDY!!!
She barrels back into the bathroom. I'm still in the shower.
Out-Numbered - What?
7 year old - She's gone.
Out-Numbered - What do you mean she's gone?
7 year old - She's not in her bed.
Out-Numbered - OK. Did you look under the bed?
She darts out of the bathroom to check...
7 year old - She's not there.
Out-Numbered - Did you check in the den?
She scrambles out once more.
I hear her screaming her sister's name throughout the house.
She comes back into the bathroom out of breath and visibly upset.
7 year old - She's not in the den. I don't know where she is.
Out-Numbered - Sweetie, take it easy. She's got to be in the house.
7 year old - THEN WHERE IS SHE?
Out-Numbered - Did you check all of her hiding places? Behind the chair? The closet?
She runs out. I hear her screaming again. The screaming turns into crying.
7 year old - DADDY! SHE'S GONE! SHE'S NOT HERE!!!
I'm nervous. I turn off the shower and grab my towel.
Out-Numbered - She has to be here.
7 year old - Did you hear the alarm go off last night?
Out-Numbered - NO!
7 year old - Then where is she?
We both shuffle through the house. Looking in every room. Every closet. Under every piece of furniture.
My daughter is hysterical. She's genuinely frightened.
Out-Numbered - Calm down baby.
We both call for her in every room. Our calls grow louder with each room that we search.
Finally.
The kitchen.
My 3 year old is sitting on the floor. She has a candy bar in her hand. She knows she's in trouble.
Out-Numbered - Didn't you hear us calling you?
My 7 year old is sobbing uncontrollably.
7 year old - I didn't see her there.
Out-Numbered - It's OK baby.
7 year old - I'm mad at her.
Out-Numbered - Didn't you hear your sister calling you?
3 year old - Yes.
Out-Numbered - Then why didn't you answer her?
3 year old - I was hungry.
Out-Numbered - Go hug your sister. NOW!
Later that morning in the car with my 3 year old...
Out-Numbered - You really upset your sister today.
3 year old - Why?
Out-Numbered - Because she thought someone took you.
3 year old - So?
Out-Numbered - So, wouldn't you be upset if someone took your sister?
3 year old - No. We can just get another sister.
Out-Numbered - Well OK then...
My wife grew up as an only child, as did her Mother before her. The fighting affects her. She doesn't understand how or why sisters could talk to each other in such a way.
I have a younger brother and a younger sister. It's easy for me to relate to the dynamic of my two daughters. I've been there. It's certainly a love / hate thing. The pendulum swings fast and hard in both directions. Sometimes that pendulum is more like a wrecking ball. If you're not careful, it will take your head off.
But then there are times when the love takes your breath away. It's a love that can't be taught. It's in their DNA.
Sisters...
Tuesday Morning 7am. I step into the shower...
7 year old - Daddy? I'm all dressed!
Out-Numbered - Awesome. Now go wake up your sister.
7 year old - She never wakes up. She's lazy.
Out-Numbered - Tell her if she lets you get her dressed, we'll go to McDonald's for dinner.
7 year old - Tonight?
Out-Numbered - Yes.
7 year old - Cool!
She runs out of the bathroom to wake her little sister...
7 year old - DADDY!!!
She barrels back into the bathroom. I'm still in the shower.
Out-Numbered - What?
7 year old - She's gone.
Out-Numbered - What do you mean she's gone?
7 year old - She's not in her bed.
Out-Numbered - OK. Did you look under the bed?
She darts out of the bathroom to check...
7 year old - She's not there.
Out-Numbered - Did you check in the den?
She scrambles out once more.
I hear her screaming her sister's name throughout the house.
She comes back into the bathroom out of breath and visibly upset.
7 year old - She's not in the den. I don't know where she is.
Out-Numbered - Sweetie, take it easy. She's got to be in the house.
7 year old - THEN WHERE IS SHE?
Out-Numbered - Did you check all of her hiding places? Behind the chair? The closet?
She runs out. I hear her screaming again. The screaming turns into crying.
7 year old - DADDY! SHE'S GONE! SHE'S NOT HERE!!!
I'm nervous. I turn off the shower and grab my towel.
Out-Numbered - She has to be here.
7 year old - Did you hear the alarm go off last night?
Out-Numbered - NO!
7 year old - Then where is she?
We both shuffle through the house. Looking in every room. Every closet. Under every piece of furniture.
My daughter is hysterical. She's genuinely frightened.
Out-Numbered - Calm down baby.
We both call for her in every room. Our calls grow louder with each room that we search.
Finally.
The kitchen.
My 3 year old is sitting on the floor. She has a candy bar in her hand. She knows she's in trouble.
Out-Numbered - Didn't you hear us calling you?
My 7 year old is sobbing uncontrollably.
7 year old - I didn't see her there.
Out-Numbered - It's OK baby.
7 year old - I'm mad at her.
Out-Numbered - Didn't you hear your sister calling you?
3 year old - Yes.
Out-Numbered - Then why didn't you answer her?
3 year old - I was hungry.
Out-Numbered - Go hug your sister. NOW!
Later that morning in the car with my 3 year old...
Out-Numbered - You really upset your sister today.
3 year old - Why?
Out-Numbered - Because she thought someone took you.
3 year old - So?
Out-Numbered - So, wouldn't you be upset if someone took your sister?
3 year old - No. We can just get another sister.
Out-Numbered - Well OK then...
Drama Queen is 12 so trust me, I get the "I hate you" all the time. My usual response is "get in line. Lots of people hate me", I can totally relate to this and totally wish you luck. My only advice to you is that Jack Daniels can be a great ally in these trying times...
ReplyDeleteOh, your daughter is in BIG TROUBLE. I don't know you or your kids, but I had tears in my eyes because I have two girls and if one of them did that to me? TIME OUT TIMES INFINITY, MISSY. There's nothing scarier than losing a child. Even if that child is sitting in the kitchen, eating stolen chocolate bars for breakfast.
ReplyDeleteJust between you and me, I hide when I eat candy bars for breakfast, too.
ReplyDeleteNot fun, dude. Sorry mostly that the 7 year old was so upset. Hopefully she will talk to 3 year old later about it to set things straight...
ReplyDeleteMe and my sisters had MANY I hate yous and I wish you were deads. We were horrible little children.
ReplyDeleteSorry your 7 yr old got so upset. My 3 yr old does the same thing when she cant find her brothers.
ReplyDeleteSo, are you still going to MickyD's?
I did something similar when I was little. I actually was hiding. You hide because you doing something a little bit wrong, then you realize hiding itself has become something even more wrong so you're even more afraid to come out. You're screwed both ways.
ReplyDeleteI have two sisters and we argued all the time.
Remember when we were playing hide and go seek when I was like 7 or something and you grabbed my ankle through the basement stairs in the pitch black right after we watched Carrie? By the way, thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteAs nerve-wracking as that experience must have been for you (and especially your 7-year-old), the ending was goddamn hysterical. It'll all blow over and in 15 years they'll be best friends, but I can remember the fights I had with my brother when we were younger and there were definitely times we would've gladly given each other away to the highest bidder. Or for free.
ReplyDeleteThat was hilarious.
I grew up with five, count them, five sisters and added one more when we "adopted" my youngest sister's best friend. So, you can imagine the "drama" that went along with all those females. I have two daughters. My husband often calls it "The House of MOODS" He's a funny guy.
ReplyDelete"No. We can just get another sister."
ReplyDeleteYou know, there have been many times I've typed lol without actually laughing out loud, but this time I really did lol. That was quite funny.
My brother and I lost both of our sisters... exactly once.
ReplyDeleteSomehow we managed to convince them that our parents shouldn't find out... ever.
when my wife was pregnant w/ the trips, i had many, many dreams that they would all be girls (they ended up BBG), which would have meant me and five ladies. and i don't know how i would have survived.
ReplyDeleteit's cool your 3yo has a backup plan in case anything happens w/ the 7yo.
Nyahahaha! Awesome.
ReplyDeleteMy kids become amazingly quiet when they're into something they know they're not supposed to be. In fact, quiet in the house now can only mean bad things are going down.
ReplyDeleteThie situation you just explained would have absolutley scared the shit out of me. I would have acted more like your 7 year old than a parent the way you did. Good for you for staying calm under pressure.
I have two girls myself, deal with the love/hate thing all the time. Nice to see my girls aren't the only ones.
ReplyDeleteOk, that was so wrong, but that was SO funny! I mean not even talking about how the younger sister upset her older sister, but what came out of the 3-year old's mouth. Children are so innocent...just make ya smile.
ReplyDeleteBTW...loved your dance...you are a cool dad!
Now there is a great story to laugh about when they get older...and start fighting over boys...and shoes...and...
ReplyDeletethis is so cute! at first I thought it was an actual amber alert. lol
ReplyDeleteclassic
ReplyDeletewe need a new genre, fictional blogs...all of this realism hurts my head! really good one, Jason.
ReplyDeleteI just saw the 7 year old and asked her "did you lose your little sister this morning?"
ReplyDeleteWith a sheepish grin she replied "Almost"
FYI... We did NOT go to McDonald's. We went to Burger King instead. That'll teach her.
ReplyDeleteBest part of the story: Burger King instead. LOL at that.
ReplyDeleteWOW. glad that was all on you! our big one really does LOVE our little one...
ReplyDeleteYUV!
You should've ordered them a coupla veggie burgers at BK to boot! Sophie gave Ruby that thick skin in the beginning, she's gotta be ready
ReplyDeletelove it! she can take one of my sisters I have 6 (and 1 brother who acts mostly like a girl anyway...lol)I wished all the time that someone would take them. :D
ReplyDeleteThe first giggle I've had all day.
ReplyDeleteThis could've been an event in our house!
I have an older sister and we had a love/hate relationship - we still do.
My mother tells us she used to worry what would happen to me and Sister Pootie when she died because we were so hateful to each other, and fought all the ever loving time.
ReplyDeleteToday, she is one of my best friends and is one of the few people that I trust. I am blessed to have her in my life.
Tell Ms. Outnumbered that life will get better. It's all a part of the rites of passage of womanhood.
:) Great post.
You really created a scene here! I was on the edge of my seat! And then, there she was eating that candy bar. SUCKERS!
ReplyDeleteHer response at the end reminds me of a story my mom likes to tell about when she was pregnant with me. My brother wanted a sister. My mom asked:
"What if it's a boy?"
His reply:
"We'll push it back in!"
Hmm. My kids have never played the "I hate you" card. I must be doing something wrong. Any advice?
ReplyDeleteit's beautiful how concerned she was! But then the 3 year old's response is very pragmatic.
ReplyDeleteGreat story and storyline!
ReplyDeleteWhat? Sisters are a dime a dozen at the market.
ReplyDeleteI have a daughter and son, and I can so relate to this. They can drive me and each other absolutely craaaaazy, and yet, in a split second, show each other so much love. It's awesome.