Daughtry... DON'T MESS THIS UP!
Dear Mr. Daughtry,
I'm writing to you in this eleventh hour out of desperation. I would like to call a matter of great importance to your attention. My name is Jason and I am a fan of your music. Furthermore, I am a huge Heavy Metal fan. Although technically, I wouldn't consider your works to be of that genre, I am borrowing, if not counting on your Hard Rock prowess for a particular reason.
Let me explain.
I have two daughters. The eldest being seven years of age. She loves music. Albeit shitty, bubble gum, pop music, it is music nonetheless. This brings me to my point and in turn your mission.
I need her to like Heavy Metal. It's not that I want her to like it. I literally need her to like it. It is such an intricate part of my DNA that it would be virtually impossible for me to live with her if she doesn't find a substantial appreciation for it. Her Mother (My Wife) pretty much hates it, which makes it difficult for me to partake. Because there are four of us in the house, it is basically a numbers game. I need to tip the scale in my favor so to speak.
This is where you come in. I am using you and your melodic rock stylings as a musical conduit between my eldest spawn and Heavy Metal. I understand this is a tremendous bit of responsibility to heap onto you so late in the game but my plan must work. It has to work.
I've respected you since American Idol. Your rendition of Lionel Richie's "Hello" was awe inspiring. Oh shit. Wait. Was that David Cook? Dammit. I have made a terrible mistake. This is not good. Fuck. Did you lose to Taylor Hicks that year? God Dammit. OK. I still need you to hook me up.
I'm coming to you in my darkest hour. I ask that you please try and muster your most worthy performance. In other words, please don't suck it tonight. If you fail, may Jonas Brothers CD's rain down upon you for all eternity.
Thank you for your immediate attention in this urgent matter.
Sincerely,
Jason
P.S. Don't play that "Home" song. She hates it. It will fuck up everything.
Post Show...
Well done my friend. I think we got her...
I'm writing to you in this eleventh hour out of desperation. I would like to call a matter of great importance to your attention. My name is Jason and I am a fan of your music. Furthermore, I am a huge Heavy Metal fan. Although technically, I wouldn't consider your works to be of that genre, I am borrowing, if not counting on your Hard Rock prowess for a particular reason.
Let me explain.
I have two daughters. The eldest being seven years of age. She loves music. Albeit shitty, bubble gum, pop music, it is music nonetheless. This brings me to my point and in turn your mission.
I need her to like Heavy Metal. It's not that I want her to like it. I literally need her to like it. It is such an intricate part of my DNA that it would be virtually impossible for me to live with her if she doesn't find a substantial appreciation for it. Her Mother (My Wife) pretty much hates it, which makes it difficult for me to partake. Because there are four of us in the house, it is basically a numbers game. I need to tip the scale in my favor so to speak.
This is where you come in. I am using you and your melodic rock stylings as a musical conduit between my eldest spawn and Heavy Metal. I understand this is a tremendous bit of responsibility to heap onto you so late in the game but my plan must work. It has to work.
I've respected you since American Idol. Your rendition of Lionel Richie's "Hello" was awe inspiring. Oh shit. Wait. Was that David Cook? Dammit. I have made a terrible mistake. This is not good. Fuck. Did you lose to Taylor Hicks that year? God Dammit. OK. I still need you to hook me up.
I'm coming to you in my darkest hour. I ask that you please try and muster your most worthy performance. In other words, please don't suck it tonight. If you fail, may Jonas Brothers CD's rain down upon you for all eternity.
Thank you for your immediate attention in this urgent matter.
Sincerely,
Jason
P.S. Don't play that "Home" song. She hates it. It will fuck up everything.
Post Show...
Well done my friend. I think we got her...
LOL! But just wait, it gets worse. One day that wonderful child will turn to you and say, "Don't you just think Snoop Dogg is awesome?"
ReplyDeleteTrust me. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You could always ask Miley Cyrus to rock out to a little Lita Ford
ReplyDeleteHave a great time tonight!!! :)
ReplyDeleteYou know you love daughter#1's music too! You just can't admit it.
Oh! I hope he doesn't let you down!!!
ReplyDeleteHey, whatever happened to that long haired Alman Brothers looking guy? Maybe he can help if Daughtry caves.
That is clever. Daughtry is basically bubble gum hard rock. This may work.
ReplyDeleteYes,,, I understand this post completely...Orianthi is a good go between, that girl shreds on a guitar,, it's amazing. She's pretty and blonde and only like 10 years old,,, so my girls are into it!!.. They got a Kesha CD and it makes my ears bleed,,, seriously horrific!! They like Good Charlotte and Nickelback..Hate AC/DC ( I almost put them for adoption 'bout that one)...good luck!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWatch the "Home" song be the one she digs.
ReplyDeleteYeah. Well, I remember (1999) taking my daughter (aged 9) and her best friend to see The Backstreet Boys. At least Daughtry is old enough to buy himself a beer. Have fun!!
ReplyDeleteI often remind my 18 year old son that it's the true definition of love ... when your 8 year old son asks you to take out the Metallica CD and put on the Back Street Boys ... and YOU DO (he did, 10 years or so ago ... and, to both of our embarassment, I did).
ReplyDeleteThe good news ... he grew out of it and now likes Metal, Hard Rock, and Punk ... I wish you the same luck.
LOL!!! I think what's important is that your daughter has a good time. She is still too young to appreciate much of a rock concert, but she will remember the environment and how you treated her. She will remember if she liked the music, but she probably won't know what kind it is.
ReplyDeleteI hope the music got to her and she got up and danced.
You are doing the right thing. Sharing experiences with your kids brings all of you closer. And I hope for your sake that she totally loves Daughtry. Getting her to love heavy metal is another thing entirely.:)
Is this the tour with Lifehouse? I might have to check it out.
ReplyDelete@Chris Yep. Cavo and Lifehouse. Lifehouse was actually pretty awesome. The chicks love those guys and the lead singer came out and sang with Daughtry.
ReplyDeleteJason my man.... Love the post!
ReplyDeleteHey, here is the best way to get your daughters into something a bit more to your liking. Run out this weekend and get Guitar Hero or Rock Band and learn how to play. Play with them. Get the whole kit with the drums and the extra guitar and the mic and jam out man.
You all will ROCK!!!
Two issues: 1. You should have been playing AC/DC instead of wheels on the bus 5 years ago!! Start on #2 asap!
ReplyDelete2. You just confirmed your viewership for American Setup...
Terriffic commentary none the less!
funny shit
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. Having 2 boys, and being a lifelong music aficionado, I feel a huge responsibility -- and an urgency -- to shape them into cool guys who like cool music. Which is why they've been listening to good music since they were in the womb, no kiddie tunes for my sons. I think it's starting to pay off: my 4 year-old requests The Beatles every ... See Moretime we get in the car, and my 7 year-old rocks out w/me to Muse and to Van Halen w/his dad. They're on the road... but I'd imagine it's much harder w/little girls -- Jonas Bros., Miley Cyrus, etc. -- BLECH!!! I wish you the best of luck on this one!! LOL
ReplyDeleteDaughtry as a transition to heavy metal makes perfect sense to me. I hate "Home" too. It's all about "It's Not Over."
ReplyDeleteI am a fan of Americana, Acoustic, Alternative Folk, you know the Mraz kind of vibe....
ReplyDeleteBut I do love me a good Papa Roach, Nine Inch Nails, Metallica jaunt now and again.
Maybe your daughter could be ECCLECTIC and a bridge between you and the wifey. :)
I haven't had the joy of being dragged to concerts with my kid yet. I know the day will come. Just like birthday parties at the always dangerous Chuck E. Cheese. I hope I have the strength.
ReplyDeleteMy dear son,
ReplyDeleteI hope it works out for you.
You're too funny. Or maybe one could never be too funny.
I love that you know how to be funny.
You must be doing something wrong...I've got 2 girls who love what I love. ;) We blasted The Killers & Anberlyn on the stereo in the car on the ride home tonight! "Play that one again mom, I like it!" - The 6 yr old. "Don't sing mom, turn it up!" - The 2.5 yr old.
ReplyDeleteJust don't tell their dad about the accidental F word repeat when we listened to The Offspring.
I don't know how I did, but my 13 and 14 year olds love all that 70's & 80's rock. They really don't like the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus...all that crap. AC/DC...they love them!!! Def Lepard, Motley Crue...they love them all!!! Maybe it was Rock Band?? Who knows??
ReplyDeleteWhile I was pregnant with my twin boys I would put the headphones on my stomach while listening to AC/DC, OZZY, Dokken etc....thought for sure I started early enough...nope! Now they're in college with a huge base in each of their cars so the freakin' entire town can hear them when they come home...uugghhh! Do you think they make headphones small enough to encase sperm?? I think that's where it needs to start!!
ReplyDeleteI took my daughter to her fist concert a few years back: Hilary Duff. It doesn't get any worse than that, does it?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm catching up on reading your posts because this one made me laugh and cringe at the same time. Mostly, I really dislike my kids' music. BTW, my sisters too them to their concerts because I wasn't "hip" enough. My sisters on the other hand, even though we share the same genes, must have been "cool."
ReplyDelete