The Winning Letter...
Judges took about two and a half hours to decide between the 53 letters received in the 1987 Mother of the Year Contest co-sponsored by Merrick Life and the Merrick Chamber of Commerce Saturday morning. The winner was Luba Mayo, whose son Jason wrote the winning letter.
The Winning Letter - May 7, 1987
My name is Jason Mayo and I am a student at Calhoun High School. I'm 16 years old, and I think my mother is super. Maybe I should rephrase that to "Superwoman". Most of the letters you have read in the past have probably been typical writings from those who love their mother just as much as I do. But I think this mother is deservant of a superior honor such as your Mother of the Year (award).
My mother is different. My parents have been divorced for almost eight years now, and it took me this long until I could appreciate what she has done for my brother and me in the past and present.
Throughout her motherhood she has cared for us in the kindest way, and helped to round our characters in the finest way possible.
She works very hard as a teacher in Queens, and she puts forth an incredible effort in her profession. She is also attending school to get various credits for her higher degree. Besides working and going to school, she is a friend above friends to those that she cares for. It's hard to describe the strength she possesses within, by just describing her actions. She not only accepts and succeeds at her title of mother but she must at times be there as a father because we are at home a family of three. She could have quit on us because we've seen not only good times but bad. But it's her strong hearted character that keeps our family not a family of three but a family of three together as one.
It's hard for me to tell her how special she is to us and how thankful we are for her guidance, but I thought you could help me by presenting her with a title as rewarding as that of Mother of the Year...
It's May 12th 2010 and I'm almost 40 years old. I had forgotten about this letter. When I read it this morning I realized that not a lot has changed. When my parents got divorced things changed in our house. I was 8 or 9 years old and I didn't know how to deal with it. I isolated myself. I still do. I pretty much turned into an angry asshole as a teenager and treated my mother like shit. I yelled and broke stuff and I let her know how much I hated her. I was pathetic.
I remember the day I wrote this letter. I sat on our green and yellow flowered couch and thought about all the nasty things I said to her over the years. I thought about what a horrible person I had become. I thought about all of the words that I couldn't ever possibly take back. You can never take them back. I wanted to tell her that it was all a front. A defense mechanism. She had become my personal, verbal punching bag. I never knew how to express my feelings in person. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get the words out. I was a tortured soul. The only way I could get it out was to write. If I could put it down on paper, the words would live forever. Everyone could see my true feelings. Maybe it would wash away all of the bad words that were floating out there in the ether.
I remember what my mom said to me when they told her she had won the award. She said, "Son, you never have to get me a Mother's Day present ever again." That's not true mom. A son's love shouldn't be a gift you receive once a year. It should be something you feel all the time. Something that goes unspoken. I'm sorry for all of the years of pain. I'm sorry for all of the mean and terrible things I've said.
I still have trouble saying all of the important things to you in person but I promise you, I'm working on that. I'm trying to build the courage to make things right. I want to start the healing. I want to mend this relationship with you. You've done nothing wrong and I love you.
When I asked my mom to bring me the letter from the contest, her only concern was that I don't show her picture. She didn't care about her 80's perm or the outfit she was wearing. She was regretful for not having my brother and I in the picture with her.
This is the kind of mother she is and I want her to know that I appreciate that. I always have...
Happy Mother's Day.
The Winning Letter - May 7, 1987
My name is Jason Mayo and I am a student at Calhoun High School. I'm 16 years old, and I think my mother is super. Maybe I should rephrase that to "Superwoman". Most of the letters you have read in the past have probably been typical writings from those who love their mother just as much as I do. But I think this mother is deservant of a superior honor such as your Mother of the Year (award).
My mother is different. My parents have been divorced for almost eight years now, and it took me this long until I could appreciate what she has done for my brother and me in the past and present.
Throughout her motherhood she has cared for us in the kindest way, and helped to round our characters in the finest way possible.
She works very hard as a teacher in Queens, and she puts forth an incredible effort in her profession. She is also attending school to get various credits for her higher degree. Besides working and going to school, she is a friend above friends to those that she cares for. It's hard to describe the strength she possesses within, by just describing her actions. She not only accepts and succeeds at her title of mother but she must at times be there as a father because we are at home a family of three. She could have quit on us because we've seen not only good times but bad. But it's her strong hearted character that keeps our family not a family of three but a family of three together as one.
It's hard for me to tell her how special she is to us and how thankful we are for her guidance, but I thought you could help me by presenting her with a title as rewarding as that of Mother of the Year...
It's May 12th 2010 and I'm almost 40 years old. I had forgotten about this letter. When I read it this morning I realized that not a lot has changed. When my parents got divorced things changed in our house. I was 8 or 9 years old and I didn't know how to deal with it. I isolated myself. I still do. I pretty much turned into an angry asshole as a teenager and treated my mother like shit. I yelled and broke stuff and I let her know how much I hated her. I was pathetic.
I remember the day I wrote this letter. I sat on our green and yellow flowered couch and thought about all the nasty things I said to her over the years. I thought about what a horrible person I had become. I thought about all of the words that I couldn't ever possibly take back. You can never take them back. I wanted to tell her that it was all a front. A defense mechanism. She had become my personal, verbal punching bag. I never knew how to express my feelings in person. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get the words out. I was a tortured soul. The only way I could get it out was to write. If I could put it down on paper, the words would live forever. Everyone could see my true feelings. Maybe it would wash away all of the bad words that were floating out there in the ether.
I remember what my mom said to me when they told her she had won the award. She said, "Son, you never have to get me a Mother's Day present ever again." That's not true mom. A son's love shouldn't be a gift you receive once a year. It should be something you feel all the time. Something that goes unspoken. I'm sorry for all of the years of pain. I'm sorry for all of the mean and terrible things I've said.
I still have trouble saying all of the important things to you in person but I promise you, I'm working on that. I'm trying to build the courage to make things right. I want to start the healing. I want to mend this relationship with you. You've done nothing wrong and I love you.
When I asked my mom to bring me the letter from the contest, her only concern was that I don't show her picture. She didn't care about her 80's perm or the outfit she was wearing. She was regretful for not having my brother and I in the picture with her.
This is the kind of mother she is and I want her to know that I appreciate that. I always have...
Happy Mother's Day.

This is absolutely lovely. You were a teen and your behavior was not unusual. I was an angry teen so I can definitely relate. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person and to raise a young man who can acknowledge that is the icing on the cake. You brought tears to my eyes and I am mother to two little boys, ages 21 months and 10 years. It is a challenge raising boys, but they love they have for me makes me the luckiest mother in the world.
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrific tribute, then and now.
ReplyDeleteFantastic.
Lovely. Thank you for sharing that.
ReplyDeleteNow stop being so sappy, because I don't come over here to CRY, dammit!
Dude, you're killing me. Ok, we get it, you're the good son and I'm Macaulay Culkin.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel the same way, thinking that there's no way my mother could forgive me for the horrible things I said to her when I was a teenager. I loved this post; it got me all teary-eyed.
ReplyDeleteDamn woman hormones.
That was really sweet by the way.
ReplyDeleteAs a single mother to 3 I can only hope I do half as good as she did with you! This is a boost of inspiration during a hard time I am facing. There is a prayer I word every morning and night. Please let me do and say the right things for my children.That's all I can ask for. I want to be their superwoman!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this!!
Touching work, Jason, I'm sure your mom was beyond honored.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome. It take a huge MAN to do things like this and it showed when you were a young boy, that you would turn into a great man. I am proud to read your blog. thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteMy 15 yr old monosyllable son gave me a mother's day card this year and it was wordy and touching and he told me for the first time in his life just how much he realizes I do for him and that he loves me.
ReplyDeleteI have not heard that since he was about 6. I cried and everyone laughed at me. Stupid family.
That card will get me through the next few years. I'm betting that's what your letter did for your Mom....raising teenagers is hell. I cannot imagine doing it without being able to yell at my husband about the riffraff living in our home and asking when exactly they'll all be moving out. Kuddos to your mom.
And I have to say....good for you for deciding to start talking to your parents about all of this. My husband's dad passed away suddenly this Jan. and it is his biggest regret. Keep on mending the fences. There's no regret in that.
I really felt that one and I'm sure it felt good to write it.
ReplyDeletebeautifully done.
You are so lucky! I too am from a divorced family but your mom really helped you and made you stronger where my mom tore me down and made me weaker. Your mom is awesome and so are you!! Great post.
ReplyDeleteCrikey.. I bet that was a hard one to write... but it was lovely to read. Try not to be too hard on yourself. All teenagers are bastards to their parents..... and yet I have never heard of a teenager writing such a poignant letter. That puts you ahead.
ReplyDelete*sniff*. How awesome. I'm impressed that as an angry 16 year old boy you could soften enough to write that letter. I know what your mom meant when she said she didn't need any other mother's day gift ever. And I can appreciate your thought that she should feel it always, and I'm sure she does. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteJason, as a divorced mother of two boys, your post made a difference for me. You gave me hope. You are blessed, your mother is blessed...keep on this path of love and healing. Both make a difference.
ReplyDeleteHUGS, LisaB
Wow, Dude.
ReplyDeleteyour poor mother has had to put up with so much s--- from u and your brother. she deserved this award then and now too!!! so glad u realized! i'm proud of u!
ReplyDeleteYUV!
This is brutally honest and wonderful. We all have said nasty things to our parents that we wish we could take back, but you've truly taken your making amends to the next level.
ReplyDeleteYour mother sounds like an amazing lady.
great post Jay, as a mom it touched me and as a friend, I'm proud to know you. But for the record, I don't remember you being such a dbag...
ReplyDeleteSweet sentiment. I'm glad, though, that you've stopped overusing the passive voice since you were 16. There must have been a decent english teacher deserving of an award out there somewhere, too.
ReplyDeleteso touching. its so much easier to write about this then say it in person, I'm sure. Nice post, now I'm all teary.
ReplyDeleteOh my G-d!
ReplyDeleteI finally stopped crying!
I feel very blessed that I've been given a long enough life to actually see and hear you express your warm sentiments. It gives me much joy to know that I have my firstborn son back. I love you, dearly, and thank you, again, for making this Mother's Day an exceptional one.
Your healing process is not only good for me and us, but so wonderful for you. There's no word to describe how proud I am of you and how happy I am for you.
I hope my son thinks as well of me as you do of your mom. He's 14 and we get along really well (despite the fact I am currently homeschooling him). Try not to be so hard on yourself. I suspect you handled the difficult situation in your young life the best that you knew how. Your mom does sound like a strong wonderful woman and she's very lucky to have you as a son. And as I read the above, she loves you terribly!
ReplyDeleteThis is so wonderful - thank you for both getting her this award and for sharing it with all of us. I was a child of divorce and have spent a long, long time realizing how wrong I was to my mom when all she needed was a little help. Amazing what hindsight will give each of us.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, bro. I know how you feel as it sounds like we have a connected path. My parents also divorced when I was about eight. I, too, responded in much the same fashion. Despite what many believe or try to ignore, anger is as legitimate an emotion as any other and with the proper channeling can actually be useful. But as we know all too well, ... See Morewhen it has no place to go, it often ends up hurting those we love most. I'm sure parents accept blame for our behavior as they feel it is their actions that have caused us such pain. But I also think that more than apologies, our parents hope that we break the cycle and not commit the same mistakes with our own children. At least that's what I try to do however short of the effort I may fall.
ReplyDeleteI actually remember reading this in 1987 and saying hey mom, there is Michael's mom...
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful idea! It's amazing how thoughts change from teen to adult. I especially liked your mother's take on your post on seeing the letter again.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, she looks really beautiful in that picture. She couldn't help that it was the 80's with that hairstyle. It looks a lot like one I wore at that time.
On the serious side, your mother rocks for having so many kids and working. Also she has instilled these instincts in you. How wonderful that you were able to reconcile your differences too.:)
Son, this letter should be read by every teenager whose parents have divorced. Great Post! Love you!
ReplyDeleteJason - Your Mom is very pretty!
ReplyDelete