Conversations With John Stamos...
I have this recurring nightmare. It's a pretty classic anxiety / control dream.
I'm back in college wandering the halls and it's finals week. I am experiencing a complete loss of time. I have this terrible realization that I am completely unprepared for my exams and that I haven't been to class in months. I can't find the exam room and I'm not even sure of my class schedule. My vision is blurry. I am completely confused.
Even though this might be symbolic for other things going on in my waking life, ironically it's pretty close to how college went for me.
This dream is a good analogy for parenting.
There are times when I am completely confused, unprepared and my vision is extremely blurry.
The other evening while watching Full House with my kids.
7 Year Old - Do we know anyone that had a baby that died?
Out-Numbered - What? Why do you ask that?
7 Year Old - I heard someone talking about it.
Out-Numbered - What do you mean, died?
7 Year Old - Like do you know anyone who was going to have a baby but it died before it came out?
Out-Numbered - You mean a miscarriage?
7 Year Old - What's a miscarriage?
Out-Numbered - Um, that's when something goes wrong when a woman is pregnant and the baby dies before it's born.
7 Year Old - Do you know anyone that had a miscarriage?
Out-Numbered - Yes.
7 Year Old - Who?
Out-Numbered - Well, I don't think we should talk about anyone's business but our own.
7 Year Old - How come?
Out-Numbered - Because they might not want to talk about it and it's very private.
7 Year Old - Why?
Out-Numbered - Because it's painful.
7 Year Old - It hurts.
Out-Numbered - I mean it's painful for someone to talk about it.
7 Year Old - Why?
Out-Numbered - Because it would probably make them sad to think about it.
7 Year Old - Did Mommy have a miscarriage?
Out-Numbered - Yes she did.
7 Year Old - REALLY? Whoa! When?
Out-Numbered - Before your sister was born.
7 Year Old - Did I die?
Out-Numbered - What do you think?
7 Year Old - No?
Out-Numbered - No.
7 Year Old - Where you sad?
Out-Numbered - Of course I was sad.
7 Year Old - Was Mommy sad?
Out-Numbered - Very sad.
7 Year Old - Did you cry?
Out-Numbered - I don't think so.
7 Year Old - How come you didn't cry?
Out-Numbered - Because I knew it was God's way of telling us that the baby wasn't healthy and it wasn't ready to be here with us.
7 Year Old - Did Mommy cry?
Out-Numbered - Yes.
7 Year Old - Did it hurt?
Out-Numbered - Probably but you would have to ask Mommy.
7 Year Old - How did she know the baby died?
Out-Numbered - Because when she went to the Doctor, it wasn't moving anymore and they didn't hear the baby's heart beating.
7 Year Old - How did they get the baby out?
Out-Numbered - They use a special machine.
7 Year Old - Does that hurt?
Out-Numbered - I'm not sure.
7 Year Old - What kind of machine?
Out-Numbered - It's kind of like a special vacuum cleaner.
7 Year Old - Does it go in Mommy's vagina?
Out-Numbered - I think so.
7 Year Old - Ewww.
Out-Numbered - You know what though?
7 Year Old - What?
Out-Numbered - Everything happens for a reason.
7 Year Old - What does that mean?
Out-Numbered - It means that your Mother and I were very sad that it happened but if it didn't happen, we would never have had your little sister.
7 Year Old - That's true. She is annoying though.
Out-Numbered - So are you.
7 Year Old - How old do you think Uncle Jesse was when they made Full House?
Out-Numbered - You mean John Stamos?
7 Year Old - The handsome one.
Out-Numbered - John Stamos. I have no idea. Maybe 25?
7 Year Old - Whoa. He was old. He doesn't look old.
Out-Numbered - Do I look old?
7 Year Old - Yes.
Out-Numbered - Thanks.
7 Year Old - Your welcome.
Someone please pinch me...
I'm back in college wandering the halls and it's finals week. I am experiencing a complete loss of time. I have this terrible realization that I am completely unprepared for my exams and that I haven't been to class in months. I can't find the exam room and I'm not even sure of my class schedule. My vision is blurry. I am completely confused.
Even though this might be symbolic for other things going on in my waking life, ironically it's pretty close to how college went for me.
This dream is a good analogy for parenting.
There are times when I am completely confused, unprepared and my vision is extremely blurry.
The other evening while watching Full House with my kids.
7 Year Old - Do we know anyone that had a baby that died?
Out-Numbered - What? Why do you ask that?
7 Year Old - I heard someone talking about it.
Out-Numbered - What do you mean, died?
7 Year Old - Like do you know anyone who was going to have a baby but it died before it came out?
Out-Numbered - You mean a miscarriage?
7 Year Old - What's a miscarriage?
Out-Numbered - Um, that's when something goes wrong when a woman is pregnant and the baby dies before it's born.
7 Year Old - Do you know anyone that had a miscarriage?
Out-Numbered - Yes.
7 Year Old - Who?
Out-Numbered - Well, I don't think we should talk about anyone's business but our own.
7 Year Old - How come?
Out-Numbered - Because they might not want to talk about it and it's very private.
7 Year Old - Why?
Out-Numbered - Because it's painful.
7 Year Old - It hurts.
Out-Numbered - I mean it's painful for someone to talk about it.
7 Year Old - Why?
Out-Numbered - Because it would probably make them sad to think about it.
7 Year Old - Did Mommy have a miscarriage?
Out-Numbered - Yes she did.
7 Year Old - REALLY? Whoa! When?
Out-Numbered - Before your sister was born.
7 Year Old - Did I die?
Out-Numbered - What do you think?
7 Year Old - No?
Out-Numbered - No.
7 Year Old - Where you sad?
Out-Numbered - Of course I was sad.
7 Year Old - Was Mommy sad?
Out-Numbered - Very sad.
7 Year Old - Did you cry?
Out-Numbered - I don't think so.
7 Year Old - How come you didn't cry?
Out-Numbered - Because I knew it was God's way of telling us that the baby wasn't healthy and it wasn't ready to be here with us.
7 Year Old - Did Mommy cry?
Out-Numbered - Yes.
7 Year Old - Did it hurt?
Out-Numbered - Probably but you would have to ask Mommy.
7 Year Old - How did she know the baby died?
Out-Numbered - Because when she went to the Doctor, it wasn't moving anymore and they didn't hear the baby's heart beating.
7 Year Old - How did they get the baby out?
Out-Numbered - They use a special machine.
7 Year Old - Does that hurt?
Out-Numbered - I'm not sure.
7 Year Old - What kind of machine?
Out-Numbered - It's kind of like a special vacuum cleaner.
7 Year Old - Does it go in Mommy's vagina?
Out-Numbered - I think so.
7 Year Old - Ewww.
Out-Numbered - You know what though?
7 Year Old - What?
Out-Numbered - Everything happens for a reason.
7 Year Old - What does that mean?
Out-Numbered - It means that your Mother and I were very sad that it happened but if it didn't happen, we would never have had your little sister.
7 Year Old - That's true. She is annoying though.
Out-Numbered - So are you.
7 Year Old - How old do you think Uncle Jesse was when they made Full House?
Out-Numbered - You mean John Stamos?
7 Year Old - The handsome one.
Out-Numbered - John Stamos. I have no idea. Maybe 25?
7 Year Old - Whoa. He was old. He doesn't look old.
Out-Numbered - Do I look old?
7 Year Old - Yes.
Out-Numbered - Thanks.
7 Year Old - Your welcome.
Someone please pinch me...
Wow, talk about a quick left turn in the conversation. Gotta wonder how that whole train of thought got rolling, though.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I just finished reading Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern . . . seems like something you'd enjoy.
I'm with ya buddy! It's so sad!! Hooray for little sister!!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh my god every time I read about a conversation between you and your daughters I close my eyes and wish that my daughter stay 3 yrs old. I dont know if I am going to be able to handle this daughter thing
ReplyDeleteYou good daddy you!! My sons father has never seen him, He's been asking serious questions about where his dad is and making up stories about having one. I am trying to come up with the right things to say to him (he is 4). Your kids are blessed to have you.
ReplyDeleteHappy Fathers day early!!!
You should not have those anxiety dreams anymore because you will always have the answers when you answer with your heart. You can't go wrong there.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, John was the handsome one.
Happy Father's Day Jason.
ReplyDeleteI love your daughter's Whys. They remind me of conversations I used to have with my own older daughter, but she was only 3 and a half and she forced me to explain how and why I was pregnant and what it meant. I tried to give her the brief answer that wasn't exactly lies, but she wouldn't buy it. Relentlessly she pushed me to give her the whole truth. So be happy your daughter is 7 and old enough to understand a little more. When you keep telling her the truth she will appreciate it and it should bring you closer as she gets older and starts to move away from you.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I read the last line I read:
ReplyDelete"someone please punch me..."
LOL!
i adore your family. but you know that already... cuz i tell you that at least once a week.
ReplyDeletethe next time you dream about uncle jesse, can you do me a favor and ask him about the hair products he uses? kthx.
I'm often taken off-guard by my daughter's questions, too. I'm like you in that my instinct is to be honest with my kid and to see where that gets us. Happy Father's Day.
ReplyDelete(Also, I have the college finals dream about once a year. It's gotten to the point that I think maybe I WAS in a daze in college because I have more memories of 'the dream' than I do of the actual 4 years.)
I commend you on your honesty in that conversation. I feel like so many times we are told as parents to "protect" our kids from information which is actually just reality. If you hadn't answered her she would have asked someone else and who knows how that would have warped her so congrats to you for kicking down the knowledge in a very clear and real way.
ReplyDeleteI'm getting dangerously close to similar conversations with my daughter. She's whip smart, and is getting better at sussing out teh truth.
ReplyDeleteKind of like a bomb-sniffing dog, only a lot cuter and less prone to barking :)
Excellent post.
fyi
ReplyDelete1. our 7 year old hasn't mentioned a word of this to me!
2. john stamos is handsome!
3. YUV!
I'm so glad my granddaughters have a dad that knows how to talk to them.
ReplyDeleteIt's apparent that they are so comfortable around you. So, relax!
You are doing a great job!
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
I love it when your daughter reaches the point in the conversation that she is satisfied with, and then randomly and dramatically changes the subject... pure comedy genuis!
ReplyDelete