Livin' The Dream...

They say Disney is the place where "Dreams Come True".

Well it's also the place where smoking hot, young, out of work actresses, come to dress up in princess costumes and give creepy, almost middle aged dad's, inappropriate thoughts.

Just sayin'.

Don't judge me.

Anyway...

Let's play a game.

Here's the photo:























You create the caption.

Top three captions will receive a signed copy of my soon to be available, children's book, "Do Witches Make Fishes?"

All of the profits from the book are being donated to the Garden of Dreams Foundation.

So that means I'm gonna dip into my pocket, in honor of you.

That's good karma for both of us.

Oh, and just to be fair, the top three captions will be selected by my good friend Tanis Miller, AKA, The Redneck Mommy. I haven't asked her yet because I'm a bad planner and extremely spontaneous. I also like putting her in awkward situations...

Caption away and good luck!

Do Witches Make Fishes?

Promote Your Page Too

Comments

  1. PrttyBrdAugust 22, 2010 at 9:51 AM

    "Who says you have to be fucking Prince Charming to get the girl? Now where the hell is Snow White?!"


    Oh, did this have to be clean?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jen L.August 22, 2010 at 10:21 AM

    One of these things is not like the others...

    LOL!

    Is your hand on that pink princess' ass? I'm just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heather LeahAugust 22, 2010 at 10:26 AM

    "Have you ever had one of those dreams where you show up at the royal ball completely undressed? How about just under-dressed?"

    ReplyDelete
  4. My Bottle's Up!August 22, 2010 at 11:13 AM

    you have one hand on sleeping beauty's ass and the other strategically placed to hide your boner. you're like the 12 year old in school who needs to borrow a notebook.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My Bottle's Up!August 22, 2010 at 11:14 AM

    ps- that was just a comment, not a caption.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jen O.August 22, 2010 at 11:38 AM

    "Little did Outnumbered know, but he was in for a whole mess of trouble. No good ever comes after Cinderella flashes the horns."

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownAugust 22, 2010 at 12:23 PM

    "The Disney Princesses welcome the seventh runner-up in the 'Anyone Can Be a Prince" contest."

    "Disney crew smile awkwardly while waiting for security to arrive and helping wannabe streaker off the premises."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jen L.August 22, 2010 at 12:27 PM

    Oh my God, Brahm totally wins.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Marilyn (A Lot of Loves)August 22, 2010 at 12:37 PM

    "Belle found herself considering Outnumbered as a back-up for Beast. He wasn't as snappy a dresser, but he was sporting a little less hair."

    ReplyDelete
  10. Redneck MommyAugust 22, 2010 at 1:05 PM

    I LOVE this idea. And I'm thrilled to be a judge.

    Whoot!

    And dude, it's a good thing you were wearing baggy cargo pants. It'd be hard to explain a chubber to your daughters and wife, in that situation.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Momo FaliAugust 22, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    "Out-Numbered visits Disney, Cinderella holds his balls in her hand."

    "Out-Numbered visits Disney, Cinderella holds up gang sign instructing posse to off him."

    ReplyDelete
  12. My Bottle's Up!August 22, 2010 at 1:13 PM

    @Redneck Mommy I KNOW!!! is his hand not 1/2 way ready to go?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  13. My Bottle's Up!August 22, 2010 at 1:19 PM

    "a crown for a disney princess... skulls & cross boners for outnumbered."

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ok MamaAugust 22, 2010 at 1:21 PM

    "He only wishes they'd take him home to their castle"

    ReplyDelete
  15. kathyAugust 22, 2010 at 1:25 PM

    Bippity Boppity Badda Bing Badda Boom I'm your fairy godfather. Which one a yous ladies was looking for a stallion to ride?

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousAugust 22, 2010 at 1:26 PM

    Cinderella to the other princesses - "Ladies, look it's this big!" Outnumberd - "Its a little bigger now"

    ReplyDelete
  17. mentallyunavailableAugust 22, 2010 at 1:41 PM

    So there I was...

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Panic RoomAugust 22, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    "So... which one of you would like to discuss a Happy Ending?"

    ReplyDelete
  19. ChristinaAugust 22, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    "On tonight's episode of Big Love: Magic Kingdom, Outnumbered ponders how to introduce his third Princess to the first two and wonders - hopes - there might be a royal catfight. Naked, of course."

    ReplyDelete
  20. UnknownAugust 22, 2010 at 1:52 PM

    "It's good to be the king, but even better to be the Captain, Jack"

    or

    Le Grande Royale Love
    Icons, Princessess, sister wives

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousAugust 22, 2010 at 1:52 PM

    Unfortunately Snow White didn't make it to the photo shoot in time to get into full drag with the other queens.

    ReplyDelete
  22. UnknownAugust 22, 2010 at 1:55 PM

    Panic Room's caption
    most badass...EVER

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousAugust 22, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    ".....so three drag queens and a lesbian walk into a bar.....

    ReplyDelete
  24. Kevin McKeeverAugust 22, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Kevin McKeeverAugust 22, 2010 at 2:01 PM

    "You're all very enchanting ladies, but honestly, I am only interested in another type of fairy tail."

    ReplyDelete
  26. oophAugust 22, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    I was going to caption and then I read Panic Room's and realized. No need.

    ReplyDelete
  27. DamitaAugust 22, 2010 at 2:55 PM

    being "out numbered" has never felt so good.

    ReplyDelete
  28. HKAugust 22, 2010 at 3:09 PM

    ‎"yeah, putting my hand on her a** is probably OK"

    ReplyDelete
  29. Don NirAugust 22, 2010 at 3:09 PM

    'these bitches smell like fishes'

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anila NitekmanAugust 22, 2010 at 3:17 PM

    The three princesses flocked to Pinocchio's home upon hearing how much wood he had.

    ReplyDelete
  31. ThePeachy1August 22, 2010 at 4:04 PM

    Snow White is absent due to a food poisoning incident at her step moms place, so while Ariel and Pocahontas were having a mad party with these girls Prince's, Belle, Sleeping Beauty and Cindy took a walk on the wild side and got a little pirate booty with OutNumbered.

    ReplyDelete
  32. SteverinoAugust 22, 2010 at 4:16 PM

    1) Apparently, that kissing the frog story was a crock of shit

    2) This Goofy dude is a riot!

    3) Good thing we photoshopped his right hand

    ReplyDelete
  33. Lynn from For Love or FunnyAugust 22, 2010 at 4:43 PM

    "Polygamy, Disney style!"

    ReplyDelete
  34. Annie (Lady M) xAugust 22, 2010 at 4:48 PM

    Outnumbered: "Grrrr. Surrounded by hot bitches in weird dresses. Gettin' it ooon."

    2 minutes later.

    Looks down and sees hand: "Shit, where's my fella gone? I was holding it a minute ago. That's gotta be Disney magic."

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousAugust 22, 2010 at 6:01 PM

    Having gotten directions to Hempfest while high off 'shrooms in Santa Monica, Dave ends up at the wrong 'magic kindgom'. Always one to make the best out of a bad situation, he decides to have a photo taken with the princesses to prove to his friends what he's known all along--cartoons are real, man.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Out-NumberedAugust 22, 2010 at 6:15 PM

    Dying over here... Check back on Wednesday for the 3 Winners!!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. karengreenersAugust 22, 2010 at 9:21 PM

    "Belle, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and the eighth dwarf - Gropey."

    ReplyDelete
  38. EdieAugust 22, 2010 at 10:11 PM

    My overgrowth of body hair brings all the princesses to the yard...

    or

    I like big hoopskirts an I cannot lie...

    ReplyDelete
  39. EdieAugust 22, 2010 at 10:12 PM

    Lmao...just to let you know, the catcha I had to type to post my comment was "monpole". Still laughing!

    ReplyDelete
  40. KristineAugust 22, 2010 at 11:00 PM

    Ahaha! I was gonna try to come up with one, but there is no topping Ryan or Kevin's. Hehe.

    ReplyDelete
  41. thepsychobabbleAugust 22, 2010 at 11:05 PM

    Once upon a time, Outnumbered got his OWN "happy ending"

    ReplyDelete
  42. AnonymousAugust 22, 2010 at 11:07 PM

    I'm laughing too hard to come up with anything. LOVE this.

    ReplyDelete
  43. moosh in indy.August 22, 2010 at 11:10 PM

    Hey! Did anyone else notice Cinderella is totally throwing the sign of he horns?

    ReplyDelete
  44. KittyAugust 22, 2010 at 11:22 PM

    How many princesses does it take to turn this Bret Michaels want to be into a prince

    ReplyDelete
  45. SilverAugust 22, 2010 at 11:24 PM

    How many Princesses does it take to screw in a Magic Kingdom?

    ReplyDelete
  46. Rachel FerrucciAugust 22, 2010 at 11:39 PM

    Laughing too hard at the comments to come up with something.

    What did the princess do when she got to the ball???? GAggggggg

    ReplyDelete
  47. A Daft Scots LassAugust 23, 2010 at 6:52 AM

    Beauty and the Beasts

    ReplyDelete
  48. DianaAugust 23, 2010 at 7:38 AM

    Cinderella signals for the sandbag drop.

    ReplyDelete
  49. SpokenforAugust 23, 2010 at 7:40 AM

    Disney princess introduce 8th dwarf, Desperate

    ReplyDelete
  50. SpokenforAugust 23, 2010 at 7:41 AM

    How disney does Mormanism

    ReplyDelete
  51. AnonymousAugust 23, 2010 at 8:02 AM

    I'm going to have to come back to this. The only ones I can think of are super mean and tasteless, so I just need to tweak one or two and I'll be back later.

    ReplyDelete
  52. MikeAugust 23, 2010 at 9:14 AM

    I have two:

    1) "With Cialis for daily use, you can be ready anytime the moment is right."

    2) "Sharting in public can be embarrassing. Although sometimes you just have to fight through the anxiety and enjoy the moment."

    ReplyDelete
  53. The Panic RoomAugust 23, 2010 at 10:46 AM

    This is not my entry. I already slapped one up there a mile up. But I did want to say that looking at this picture reminded me of a scene from one of the funniest "Vacation" films of all time between Chevy Chase and super model Christie Brinkley

    "Married?
    You mean those people I'm with? That's my brother's family. My brother's ring. I usually borrow them on these little inspection tours of mine. It helps to complete the disguise. It's fun for them."

    Hope you're having a blast at the Magic Kingdom and not having too many Griswold moments. Call me if you want a break from the Magic.

    ReplyDelete
  54. denny144August 23, 2010 at 12:52 PM

    You know the phrase “Some day my prince will come?” That day is today for Outnumbered.

    ReplyDelete
  55. AlessaAugust 23, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    Toy Story 4: Woody and The Princesses.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Homemaker ManAugust 23, 2010 at 5:24 PM

    "It's funny how in certain situations Three women and a Man means he's Out-Numbered and in others it means he's got blue-balls. And yes that's my hand on her ass."

    ReplyDelete
  57. Tom O'MaraAugust 23, 2010 at 11:21 PM

    "You down with OPP.... yeah you know me... Whose down with OPP? Every last Homey.....". (Other peoples princesses!)

    ReplyDelete
  58. Momo FaliAugust 23, 2010 at 11:57 PM

    I'm crying over here with the South Jersey stallion comment. My vote is for Kathy. Even though I don't have a vote, I know how easy Tanis is to sway. Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  59. TheresaAugust 24, 2010 at 11:40 AM

    Just smile girls, this won't take long.

    Hysterical!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Aunt CindyAugust 24, 2010 at 9:00 PM

    Menage-a-Princesses. This really is the Magical Kingdom.

    ReplyDelete
  61. BEDBUGAugust 25, 2010 at 8:18 PM

    This looks to be a fun contest and congratulations on your kids' book!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Things That Suck About Having Kids... Part One

Image
Warning: Please do NOT read this post if you think your kids are perfect, if you are easily offended by inappropriate language or if you have a shitty sense of humor about your children. Continue reading only if you admit that your kids are annoying or that they have sucked at any point in time. I love being a dad. That much I can tell you. I can list a number of reasons that would support that statement but for now I choose not to. What happens to be on my mind lately is how much having kids can suck. I'm not saying that having children sucks all of the time but rather a majority of the time. I know that most parents think their kids are annoying. I know that most parents tend not to talk about this in public. I also know what parents think are annoying about their kids. How do I know this? Because I asked. This is only a small sampling of what you said: The fact that I have to fight with them to take a shower. They act like I am asking for a limb rather than just asking them to c...
Read more

The Reset Button...

Image
When you hear a baby crying, do you clench your teeth? Or do you listen until you hear the breath of life, exploding from its tiny lungs. Do you appreciate all that it is worth to you. Do you appreciate all that it is worth to it . When you see a person that needs help, do you turn away? Or do you extend your hand? When you feel overwhelmed by life, do you cry because you can't handle it on your own? Or do you laugh because you know you don't have to? Have you ever tried for just one day, to not judge anyone? Or anything? Life starts right now. Every single day. Over and over and over again. Just for today, wake up with a new set of eyes. Just for today, wake up with a new set of ears. Just for today, judge no one and help anyone. Just for today, give until it hurts. There are 365 days in a year and you only have to live them one at a time. Hit the reset button. It's not as hard as you might think.
Read more

The List...

Image
Men are simple creatures. We like steak and Doritos and tools. We don't like satin sheets or hairspray. We despise area rugs and/or tapestries and we absolutely loathe speed walking. We also like Football. We like to watch it uninterrupted on Sundays. And then this happens... Sunday afternoon 4:13pm. Two minutes before kickoff. Chargers VS Jaguars. Out-Numbered - All I ask is that you keep them upstairs until halftime. Wife - Fine. But I haven't had a moment to myself this whole weekend you know. Out-Numbered - I know. I love you. Wife - Whatever. Out-Numbered - Hey. Wife - Yes? Out-Numbered - Can you bring me some snacks? Wife - Go fuck yourself. Out-Numbered - Thanks Hon. She walks up the stairs. 3 Year Old - Daddy? Out-Numbered - Fuck me! Yes baby? 3 Year Old - Can you play supermarket with me? Out-Numbered - I'm sorry baby. Not right now. 3 Year Old - Why? Out-Numbered - Because Daddy is watching football. 3 Year Old - Can't you pause it? Out-Number...
Read more