I'm Feeling Extremely Gay...

Lately I've been so fucking happy, that I'm finding it hard to contain myself.

I'm feeling extremely *gay.

*Gay: Having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.
You know that move that the dude in that movie does? You know, the thing when he kind of jumps up and his legs are in the air and he taps his feet together?

Well, I tried to do that today.

It didn't work.

As a matter of fact, I almost castrated myself with the tip of my umbrella but it felt really good to try it.

The point is, I'm doing really well.

Why all of a sudden?

Thanks for asking. I'll tell you why.

Because for the first time in my life, I want what I have. That's right. It's really pretty damn simple.

I want what I have.

I got everything I need.

There's a million ways to slice it but the bottom line is, I'm grateful.

I have a beautiful wife that loves me for who I am, no matter how fucked up that am is.

(That could possibly be the worst sentence ever constructed either on paper on on the internet but I'm going with it, because it feels right. So fuck y'all.)

For some reason, I've been blessed with two incredibly smart and sassy daughters that seem to be very fond of me. They want to tell me everything that happens to them. They want to play with me, hug me, kiss me and they even don't mind rubbing my feet or bringing me soda.

It's a miracle.

If I had a hat, I'd have an amazing place to hang it everyday at the office; an office that's fun and nice and fun and all kinds of other stuff.

I have a roof over my head, that sometimes leaks when it rains really hard but for the most part, it does the trick.

I have hot water in the morning to shower with. Damn, I even have one of those Loofah brushes in the shower. I'm pretty sure it's not mine but it's there if I need it.

I have food in my refrigerator. Not just bread but things like kosher salami, cantaloupe and rice pudding. How cool is that?

I know right?

I also have parents and grandparents and brothers and sisters and friends and a shed filled with gardening tools, that the previous owners of my house left behind, that I've never used.

I'm also gonna be 40 in a couple of months and I don't give a shit because I still feel like I'm 38.

I also have a couple of other things up my sleeve that I'm gonna save just for me but they make me happy.

Now don't get me wrong. It's not like I'm shitting gold coins or anything and I certainly don't have rainbows or unicorns flying out of my ass. I have plenty of bad days.

I am just a complicated man learning to live simple.

And that...

Is a beautiful thing.




And my kid knows the pledge of allegiance? You gotta be kidding me.

Someone please pinch me.

Comments

  1. trilesOctober 5, 2010 at 9:17 AM

    Thanks for reminding me to appreciate the many positive things in my own life today.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SilverOctober 5, 2010 at 9:36 AM

    So happy for you. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete
  3. CharlotteOctober 5, 2010 at 9:44 AM

    What a fantastic way to start the day - thanks for the reminder to stop and smell the roses, or rice pudding as it were. Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownOctober 5, 2010 at 9:59 AM

    You're sometimes crude and revert to little boy bathroom humor but I have to tell you that somewhere inside you there is Wisdom(n) Sounds biblical, doesn't it? Understanding, Knowledge, Insight, Perception, Astuteness, Intelligence,Acumen - so my thesaurus says.

    ReplyDelete
  5. SaraOctober 5, 2010 at 10:05 AM

    Goddamnit.

    Now my ovaries are weeping.

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownOctober 5, 2010 at 10:10 AM

    Awesomeness!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Eleven Creations Partner ProgramOctober 5, 2010 at 11:22 AM

    Your so lucky to have them dude don't ever make a wrong decision especially if they are involve, Take good care of them and I believe that god send them to you because you deserved it! Thanks men for a wonderful article.

    ReplyDelete
  8. WIDNEY WOMANOctober 5, 2010 at 11:26 AM

    Hearing how happy you are makes me happy for you! You must feel like all that therapy has paid off. You inspired me today, my friend. I too am gay and I just posted an entry about how gay I am.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lynn from For Love or FunnyOctober 5, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    Truthfully, I wish my husband was feeling happier. Perhaps I should stock the fridge with salami, cantaloupe, and rice pudding...

    ReplyDelete
  10. JennaOctober 5, 2010 at 11:51 AM

    Awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  11. IT (aka Ivan Toblog)October 5, 2010 at 12:06 PM

    "...but I'm going with it, because it feels right."

    Hey, when you're feeling gay, anything goes. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. emmaOctober 5, 2010 at 1:33 PM

    Frakkin awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ChrisOctober 5, 2010 at 4:17 PM

    You're a lucky guy, Jason, and I know you don't take that for granted.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sarah FaderOctober 5, 2010 at 7:07 PM

    It's a wonderful feeling to be grateful for what you have. I'm working on it. My parents used to make me and my brother make gratitude lists before we went to sleep. We had to list 10 things we were grateful for. It does help!

    ReplyDelete
  15. UnknownOctober 5, 2010 at 11:38 PM

    Fun post. Is good to remind ourselves to be grateful for the good things in our lives, and the love we have, rather than always wanting more.

    You are a lucky dude.

    I too am feeling gay. As in happy. And as in gaaaaayyyyy....

    ReplyDelete
  16. JaysDadOctober 6, 2010 at 6:59 AM

    My philosophy has always been that, we have a roof over our head, food on the table and clothes on our back, we're healthy and we pay our bills every month. Some people go through their whole life and don't understand that. You discovered that before the age of 40. GREAT!

    The sentence, "I have a beautiful wife that loves me for who I am, no matter how fucked up that am is." is probably the best, most prolific line you ever posted. First I thought it was grammatically wrong and that is unlike you. But then I looked at it a third time and said, to myself of course, WOW! My son is a "Great" writer, waxes philosophic. You're incredible son. Keep up the good work. I love you very much.

    ReplyDelete
  17. JaysDadOctober 6, 2010 at 7:01 AM

    One more thing son. Ruby! Unbelievable. You are truly blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jeremy TygielskiOctober 6, 2010 at 8:45 AM

    Congrats! Not many reach this point, nor recognize it.
    Enjoy it and keep the momentum!

    ReplyDelete
  19. mypixieblogOctober 6, 2010 at 10:09 AM

    That is a beautiful thing indeed. It's great to step back from it all and look at what we have with a new set of eyes, to appreciate what we've worked for and what we have to show for our time here on earth. Not everyone is able to do this but those who can are without question the happiest.

    On a completely unrelated but very amusing note: my word verification? Demon.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Scary MommyOctober 6, 2010 at 8:35 PM

    The image of you attempting to heel kick jump is fantastic. So happy that you are happy, my friend. xox

    ReplyDelete
  21. Otter ThomasOctober 8, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    That is awesome that you are feeling so gay. I am going to count my blessings too. I may not have a shed full of garden tools but I am doing ok.

    ReplyDelete
  22. UnknownOctober 8, 2010 at 5:13 PM

    Yea happiness! That video is too freaking adorable.

    My son knows the Preamble to the Constitution. I don't think I ever knew it. I feel proud and inadequate all at once.

    ReplyDelete
  23. TracyOctober 8, 2010 at 11:43 PM

    That made my day and gave me warm fuzzies inside. We need to see, feel, and appreciate the blessings we already have in our life. Sometimes we are so busy wanting more that we don't see what we have. Great post. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  24. UnknownOctober 9, 2010 at 1:14 AM

    I swear to fucking god how do you always write the exact right post exactly right when I fucking need it????

    Oh, I know. Because you're gay.

    ReplyDelete
  25. gwendomamaOctober 9, 2010 at 5:28 PM

    Thank you for coming out. My day just got fucking awesome. It's all perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  26. beckie & the grubOctober 11, 2010 at 3:36 PM

    What a bummer that I found your blog after you've decided to "go fishing." I love this post.

    ReplyDelete
  27. ronnibunny72October 11, 2010 at 7:09 PM

    you are blessed! but so am i!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. ronnibunny72October 11, 2010 at 7:10 PM

    YUV!

    ReplyDelete
  29. KateOctober 12, 2010 at 11:06 PM

    One of my most favorite posts :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. savvy brownNovember 2, 2010 at 5:40 PM

    You are so LUCKY to realize that you're lucky! this post is so refreshing, because lately it's not veery popular to be positive. And how SCRUMTIOUS is your little girl?

    - savvy
    hhtp://savvybrown.com

    ReplyDelete

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