The Opposite Of Scary...

A couple of months ago my 9 year old daughter told me that she wanted to dress up as a Cowgirl for Halloween.

I'm all for letting my kids choose their costumes every year. As a parent it gives me great pride to to watch my children exercise their creative muscles. These costumes are a way for them to express themselves through their imagination. For a parent it offers an opportunity to peer through a small window to their mind. Dressing up is a form of role playing. It's an outlet for them to live out their wildest fantasies in a safe and encouraging environment. It's a healthy way to escape the ordinary. This is what Halloween is all about.

But a Cowgirl?

















Cowgirl pictured above is not my daughter.

I don't understand.

As far as I know, she is not a fan of John Wayne movies. She has never been to a dude ranch and there hasn't been a Roy Rogers chain in our area for over two decades. (consequently, how awesome were their bacon cheeseburgers? And don't even get me started on their fried chicken)

If I'm being completely honest here, I have to admit that I was a tad disappointed when she broke the news.

A Cowgirl isn't even scary. It's actually the opposite of scary. I just Googled "opposite of scary" and it said, "not scary". This is true. A Cowgirl is not scary.

Do kids even care about Cowgirls anymore?

I mean, only strippers and kids that model Cowgirl costumes dress up as Cowgirls.

You order a Cowgirl outfit on the Internet for your wife on your one year anniversary. Or an alien woman costume. Captain Kirk loved alien women. He was constantly bedding down alien women.

I could understand if it was 1973 and she was obsessed with the movie Westworld. Or even if she was obsessed with the movie Westworld now. I don't think she has ever seen Westworld. Yul Brynner died before she was born and Richard Benjamin is completely irrelevant to her generation.

When I was a kid my mother spent three hours applying makeup to my face so I could dress up like Peter Criss from KISS.


















You know what? I wound up looking like a fucking bunny rabbit. There was no bunny rabbit in KISS. I was humiliated.

Now that's scary.

A few weeks ago my wife went ahead and took my daughter shopping for her costume and she wound up abandoning the Cowgirl idea. When she came home and announced this to me I tried to contain my excitement.

She made me sit down and told me to close my eyes.

I heard her frantically tearing the package apart and fumbling to get the costume situated.

I was relieved. My daughter was creative after all. It was all a misunderstanding; a momentary lapse of reason on her part. Who could blame her? She's only 9 and she's finding her own way.

She told me to open my eyes.

As fate would have it...

A God damn Cat.

Whiskers and Cat ears and a tail.

As I sat there and looked at her cute little Cat face, smiling from little Cat ear to little Cat ear, I realized how silly my expectations were.

My name is Jason and my 9 year old daughter is dressing up as a Cat for Halloween and I'm OK with that.

For fuck's sake, she looks more like Peter Criss than I did.

Comments

  1. Astrogirl426October 27, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    I think little girl costumes are timeless - and that's a good thing. Every girl goes through a phase where she wants to be a cat, and a cowgirl/princess/Alice in Wonderland, and a witch...Hey, consider yourself lucky, she could have wanted to be a Bratz girl (and yes, they exist and yes, I would lock my daughter in the attic until she turned 18 if she dressed like that).

    Happy a fun and safe Halloween!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Redneck MommyOctober 27, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    Um, my kid wants to be a cowgirl for Halloween.

    I nixed it too, but only because there is no damn way I'm letting her wear my stetson or my kicks.

    You however, would make a brilliant cowgirl. I'll loan you my chaps anytime.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Steve BaileyOctober 27, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    Whatever you do readers... don't let your children put their cowgirl outfits on reverse.... it so sends the wrong message!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brian MillerOctober 27, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    haha steve...the KISS bunny rabbit...yeah i am scared...smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ShanOctober 27, 2011 at 8:46 PM

    LOL...KISS bunny rabbit. I've given up fighting with them. I did however nix the 12 year old and buddy walking around in white sheets...thought it might send the wrong message in small town Texas..they are clueless as to why..I prefer to keep it that way.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LindseyOctober 27, 2011 at 9:18 PM

    I'd rather my daughter picked cowgirl than any of the skankalicious outfits that seem to be creeping into the younger age groups as of late...

    And Peter Criss DOES look like a bunny rabbit. I've thought that for years.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Henry EllissOctober 31, 2011 at 8:06 AM

    I'm pretty sure SOMEBODY has got to be scared of cowgirls... maybe cows at the very least?

    ReplyDelete
  8. ChrisNovember 1, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    You're going to think I'm bullshitting you here, but I also dressed as Peter Criss, Halloween 1978. Came out okay, I suppose.

    And are you sure there WASN'T ever a bunny rabbit in KISS? They've burned through a lot of members over the past 38 years.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MikeNovember 3, 2011 at 8:12 PM

    mmmm fried chicken

    ReplyDelete
  10. JaysDadNovember 4, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    Roy Rogers was the only fast food chain that I went to. They had the Best Fried Chicken and Bacon CB's on the planet. I even got Pat Lucas to stray from The Colonel and got him hooked on RR. I'm still lookin for The Best Fried Chicken in the south. I think I'm going to find it next Tuesday at Dye's Gullah Fixin's on HHI, SC. http://www.dyesgullahfixins.com/. Better Be Good otherwise I give up my search.

    ReplyDelete
  11. hettyDecember 7, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    Haha, a cat is really cute... Then of course there's visions of catwoman. Michelle pfeiffer in a cat costume... Actually, I thought of the cowgirl in toy story when you said cowgirl, so that could have turned out ok.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Things That Suck About Having Kids... Part One

Image
Warning: Please do NOT read this post if you think your kids are perfect, if you are easily offended by inappropriate language or if you have a shitty sense of humor about your children. Continue reading only if you admit that your kids are annoying or that they have sucked at any point in time. I love being a dad. That much I can tell you. I can list a number of reasons that would support that statement but for now I choose not to. What happens to be on my mind lately is how much having kids can suck. I'm not saying that having children sucks all of the time but rather a majority of the time. I know that most parents think their kids are annoying. I know that most parents tend not to talk about this in public. I also know what parents think are annoying about their kids. How do I know this? Because I asked. This is only a small sampling of what you said: The fact that I have to fight with them to take a shower. They act like I am asking for a limb rather than just asking them to c...
Read more

The Reset Button...

Image
When you hear a baby crying, do you clench your teeth? Or do you listen until you hear the breath of life, exploding from its tiny lungs. Do you appreciate all that it is worth to you. Do you appreciate all that it is worth to it . When you see a person that needs help, do you turn away? Or do you extend your hand? When you feel overwhelmed by life, do you cry because you can't handle it on your own? Or do you laugh because you know you don't have to? Have you ever tried for just one day, to not judge anyone? Or anything? Life starts right now. Every single day. Over and over and over again. Just for today, wake up with a new set of eyes. Just for today, wake up with a new set of ears. Just for today, judge no one and help anyone. Just for today, give until it hurts. There are 365 days in a year and you only have to live them one at a time. Hit the reset button. It's not as hard as you might think.
Read more

The List...

Image
Men are simple creatures. We like steak and Doritos and tools. We don't like satin sheets or hairspray. We despise area rugs and/or tapestries and we absolutely loathe speed walking. We also like Football. We like to watch it uninterrupted on Sundays. And then this happens... Sunday afternoon 4:13pm. Two minutes before kickoff. Chargers VS Jaguars. Out-Numbered - All I ask is that you keep them upstairs until halftime. Wife - Fine. But I haven't had a moment to myself this whole weekend you know. Out-Numbered - I know. I love you. Wife - Whatever. Out-Numbered - Hey. Wife - Yes? Out-Numbered - Can you bring me some snacks? Wife - Go fuck yourself. Out-Numbered - Thanks Hon. She walks up the stairs. 3 Year Old - Daddy? Out-Numbered - Fuck me! Yes baby? 3 Year Old - Can you play supermarket with me? Out-Numbered - I'm sorry baby. Not right now. 3 Year Old - Why? Out-Numbered - Because Daddy is watching football. 3 Year Old - Can't you pause it? Out-Number...
Read more