My Staycation: Five Haikus...

I Hate You...
May I have candy?
You must first eat your supper.
You're mean. I hate you.

Black Princess, kiss frog.
Blue tits in 3D. Popcorn!
The Chipmunks must die.

Fifteen pound sand weights.
HDTV on the wall.
Can't do one pull-up.

Bedroom needs carpet.
So many patterns to choose.
Are you hungry? Soup.

I can't stop eating.
Crescent rolls with meat surprise.
BAM! Diarrhea.
Kids yelling at me.
Getting fatter by the day.
I was Out-Numbered...
Fantastic!!! :)
ReplyDeleteLove the haikus. I do on or three every sunday. I'm told they have to be grouped in odd-numbers because of nature. Like petals on a flower or leaves on a true or the Japanese are a pain in the ass.
ReplyDeleteI read out-numbered
it is funny and touching
Big ups to Jew dads
I love you Jazzon.
ReplyDeleteI love that you love Slim Jims.
Pigs in blankets rock.
;)
I love your blog.
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing writer, tis true.
Keep it up Jason!
ha. love you haiku...sounds like an interesting holiday at least. smiles.
ReplyDeleteHysterical!
ReplyDeleteso awesome i can hardly stand it. thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteEverything's better in haiku
ReplyDeleteu r a man of many talents! i love you. u make me laugh...
ReplyDeleteYUV!
why was there no haiku about your pancake breakfasts from this vacation? they were fabulous...
I dig your Haikus
ReplyDeleteBut second line is seven
Pigs in Blanket Fail
@Robin good call buddy. Unfail.
ReplyDeleteSorry but still Fail. Try this for last line:
ReplyDeleteBam! Splat! Diarrhea.
-Robin the Girl Wonder
To quote my son's favorite joke,
ReplyDeleteHaikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator!
LOL. Great, great post. You are my Bloggie Idol. *on knees before the Blog God, worshipping at his greatness*
I love them! Very creative. And true. Especially the bit about soup and carpet shopping. (Not that I know. But that one called to me.)
ReplyDeleteNot to be a critic, Jason, but I don't think "BAM" is the proper onomatopoeic representation of diarrhea. I believe the word you were looking for was "sploooof".
ReplyDeleteVery creative and different. Nice touch!
ReplyDeleteInteresting photos...like your choices.
I hope you enjoyed being with your family during your staycation. I'm sure they loved having you around
24/7 for one whole week!
i think that you've just found a fallback profession as a poet. congratulations!
ReplyDeleteThat was perfect! Feel like I was there. Glad I wasn't for most of it.
ReplyDeleteLike "I Hate You", it sounds like a Monday night in my home. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I particularly love the movie one. I think my mind works a lot like that one.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Some of mine:
ReplyDeletelike yours, only suckier.
You're an inspira...
tion. (Dammit.)