My Staycation: Five Haikus...


I Hate You...

May I have candy?

You must first eat your supper.

You're mean. I hate you.




Movies...

Black Princess, kiss frog.

Blue tits in 3D. Popcorn!

The Chipmunks must die.


Home Gym...

Fifteen pound sand weights.

HDTV on the wall.

Can't do one pull-up.


Carpet Shopping...

Bedroom needs carpet.

So many patterns to choose.

Are you hungry? Soup.


Fat Ass...

I can't stop eating.

Crescent rolls with meat surprise.

BAM! Diarrhea.


Kids yelling at me.
Getting fatter by the day.
I was Out-Numbered...

Comments

  1. Jen L.January 4, 2010 at 9:43 AM

    Fantastic!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Homemaker ManJanuary 4, 2010 at 9:47 AM

    Love the haikus. I do on or three every sunday. I'm told they have to be grouped in odd-numbers because of nature. Like petals on a flower or leaves on a true or the Japanese are a pain in the ass.

    I read out-numbered
    it is funny and touching
    Big ups to Jew dads

    ReplyDelete
  3. marymacJanuary 4, 2010 at 9:56 AM

    I love you Jazzon.
    I love that you love Slim Jims.
    Pigs in blankets rock.

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. AlehJanuary 4, 2010 at 11:28 AM

    I love your blog.
    You are an amazing writer, tis true.
    Keep it up Jason!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brian MillerJanuary 4, 2010 at 1:30 PM

    ha. love you haiku...sounds like an interesting holiday at least. smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  6. JodieJanuary 4, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    Hysterical!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnnJanuary 4, 2010 at 1:45 PM

    so awesome i can hardly stand it. thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  8. CoryJanuary 4, 2010 at 1:45 PM

    Everything's better in haiku

    ReplyDelete
  9. ronnibunny72January 4, 2010 at 6:15 PM

    u r a man of many talents! i love you. u make me laugh...

    YUV!

    why was there no haiku about your pancake breakfasts from this vacation? they were fabulous...

    ReplyDelete
  10. RobinJanuary 4, 2010 at 6:32 PM

    I dig your Haikus
    But second line is seven
    Pigs in Blanket Fail

    ReplyDelete
  11. Out-NumberedJanuary 4, 2010 at 6:57 PM

    @Robin good call buddy. Unfail.

    ReplyDelete
  12. RobinJanuary 4, 2010 at 7:52 PM

    Sorry but still Fail. Try this for last line:

    Bam! Splat! Diarrhea.


    -Robin the Girl Wonder

    ReplyDelete
  13. LisaJanuary 4, 2010 at 8:55 PM

    To quote my son's favorite joke,

    Haikus are easy.
    But sometimes they don't make sense.
    Refrigerator!

    LOL. Great, great post. You are my Bloggie Idol. *on knees before the Blog God, worshipping at his greatness*

    ReplyDelete
  14. pixielationJanuary 5, 2010 at 6:11 AM

    I love them! Very creative. And true. Especially the bit about soup and carpet shopping. (Not that I know. But that one called to me.)

    ReplyDelete
  15. ChrisJanuary 5, 2010 at 4:24 PM

    Not to be a critic, Jason, but I don't think "BAM" is the proper onomatopoeic representation of diarrhea. I believe the word you were looking for was "sploooof".

    ReplyDelete
  16. MomJanuary 6, 2010 at 7:11 AM

    Very creative and different. Nice touch!
    Interesting photos...like your choices.
    I hope you enjoyed being with your family during your staycation. I'm sure they loved having you around
    24/7 for one whole week!

    ReplyDelete
  17. UnknownJanuary 6, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    i think that you've just found a fallback profession as a poet. congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Scary MommyJanuary 6, 2010 at 8:48 PM

    That was perfect! Feel like I was there. Glad I wasn't for most of it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. SabreenaJanuary 6, 2010 at 11:47 PM

    Like "I Hate You", it sounds like a Monday night in my home. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Otter ThomasJanuary 7, 2010 at 2:26 PM

    Hilarious! I particularly love the movie one. I think my mind works a lot like that one.

    ReplyDelete
  21. UnknownJanuary 10, 2010 at 3:56 PM

    P.S. Some of mine:
    like yours, only suckier.
    You're an inspira...

    tion. (Dammit.)

    ReplyDelete

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